March 26th - Movin on to the Northwest Side

the house we have moved into

     I don't know how many of you remember the sitcom called the Jefferson's that ran back in 1979 - 1984 ish (that shows my age) but i do at least from the re-runs that always seemed to on the television. The theme song to that show was 'Movin on up' and in the case of that family they moved on up to the east side to a deluxe apartment in the sky (sing along if you know it) and in our case it is movin on over to the northwest side to a much more modern  house in Glebe Meadow.
     That is our situation, as you may or may not have read earlier in the blog we found out that we had to move out of our lovely dwelling on Winchester St and at the time we did not have any options of where to go. In the eleventh hour the Lord provided a house for Rebecca, Lizzie and I to move into, and it is right here in the village. It is about an 8 minute walk to the Co-op rather than a thirty second walk, but we'll trade that for all the benefits of this house we now are moving into. To have this kind of house come available when it did was providence as we were really desiring to stay in Overton, to continue living together and not to have to downsize considerably because as you may or may not have read we are adopting. When there was nothing that was coming up for rental we were concerned but fear never really kicked in rather a peace that we would be taken care of.

     So after our trip to America we knew that the next big thing on our agenda of life was to move house, they say it is one of the more stressful activities that one can go through. I'd say that this move has gone quite seamlessly and much of that can be down to the amazing people that we have had around us during the actual move and the run-up to it. On Friday night Rebecca gathered her youth cell at our new house and while it only housed boxes at the time they were let loose to go throughout the house to pray, worship and listen to God and write down what they hear. These post-it-notes were found all over the place, on the doors, windows, the floor, each room had thoughts from God heard by the teenagers, they are ones who will spend time here. Then we came to Saturday, the big day from our perspective as it was the one when everyone was coming to lend their  brawn and elbow grease. The weather was gorgeous and an army of eager workers each of whom will here be named;  (in no particular order); Murray, Catherine, Amelia, Barbara, Alan, Malcolm, Phil, Simon, Jeff, Tiffany, Rhian,Wendy, David, Peter, Carol, Chris, Karen, David, Mark, Chris and Mike. They were an army each marching to the beat of  and without them we could not have accomplished the moving of all the furniture that we have accumulated over the years.
     14 is a big house and to clean it meant many people giving it their all, and this is exactly what happened. A move like this underscores the value of community, I personally don't know how people who aren't surrounded by a loving community of friends can do something like this without professional or hired help. We have always seen our friends as our family and in this case it was a great day of working, eating and being together all around one goal of helping to get us from there to here. It goes without saying probably but these same people who helped us this weekend are ones who will be around when we arrive back on this fair isle with a little addition to our family. When you need others help is when you realize how much life can't be lived on it's own. I think that the old saying that it takes a village to raise a child is so true, we look really forward when we have opportunity to put that into real practice.

Check out this interesting version of Movin on Up

March 16th - Approval... now what???

     We have always looked at our trip to Indiana as one of adventure, listening to this part of our call, a certain amount of unknown territory and of course excitement. One of the areas of unknown territoriness (word?) was can we get everything done in a 3 1/2 week period of time planned in the states? If we could not get it all in during that space of time, then what?, how could we finish the process of becoming approved to adopt? It's not like we can just hop on a plane and go back to Indy for one more meeting. Anyway that question is one that hung around our heads for quite sometime, especially in the run-up to the scheduled trip and whilst (for all you Brits:) in the USA. Most people take much more time to do the interviews, education meetings, paperwork, creation of the family profile, but most people are working alongside of those portions of the process whereas we were there for that reason firstly, then meeting up with people secondly. On reflection had we attempted to do a trip like that on our regular visit to Indiana it would have proven all but impossible, but being there with that singular focus afforded us the possibility of completeness. So without any further ado... we are officially approved to adopt!!!

     We have been waiting for this official document for a fortnight or so, and it did in fact arrive tonight in our inbox. It did not contain any new information, but that does not diminish the importance of the letter, or diminish the excitement of the finish line of this part of the process. The importance lies within the fact that without it we would not be able to adopt through our chosen agency. Without their being willing to adapt to our unique circumstances and continually work with us through our mountain of questions we would not have been able to get to this point. So exactly what is this point you might ask? Where do we in fact go from here?
 

 The short answer is wait, we have done what we need to do, we are now in a position of waiting until we are chosen. I have been struck more than once by the reality of the choice we have made to enter this amazing process and now we are at a point where we are the ones waiting. Maybe the most common question of the last couple of months is when, when will you know, when do you go back to the US, when this,when that. We have plenty of answers but not those. Being called to wait now, is a great position to be in and yet a difficult spot: As Lizzie says 'waiting is a dichotomy because you vacillate between fear that you are out of control and the freedom of having things out of control' So while we wait would you be praying for us, that God would give us His peace as we live within His timing.

March 3rd - Little Ones

not these little ones, rather the ones below

     There is an aspect of adoption that probably could get lost in the shuffle of all the paperwork, meetings, excitement, finance, travel etc... and that is the fact that a little one is now part of the equation. It sounds elementary I'm sure but you know that having a newborn, infant, toddler, school age or teenager around changes pretty much everything. For us we have had much experience in not having children around and we have also been overly blessed to have had so much interaction with kids of all ages. Whether that be Rebecca's nine years as a kindergarten teacher or Earl's time with the 2nd, 3rd and 6th graders along with all other grades as a sub. Or maybe it was our 8 years working with teenagers from our church, traveling here there and everywhere, along with loads of teens from other churches as well. It feels as though we have had much opportunity with kids all over the place, from so many families, schools, churches, and many of our friends have had kids as well. Probably the ages that we have not had as much time with is with the little little ones, we're talking the newborn-toddlers. That has all been changing though, and of course it will change big time in the future.

the Good household

     As we reflect back on our great trip to Indiana there are many things that stand out, the amazing Mexican food on various occasions, high school bball,  seeing so many friends, the generosity of people that we've seen in action, but maybe one of our favorite and most life-giving times have spent with little ones. Alot of our friends have children now and that has been part of our experience that we hang out with them and their children. On this trip there seemed to be kids everywhere and whether it was playing games, building blocks, shooting hoops, choo-choos, popsicle stands, jumping like a superhero, puzzles, and who knows what else it was a blast. There is such vibrancy in their speech, often a bit louder than expected, sometimes taking everyone by surprise. There are the huge smiles while playing or running around, there are the often short stories of what happened to cause the latest ouchie. Maybe a joke here or there that sometimes is funny but always makes you laugh. Meal times which usually are interesting for one reason or another, very rarely to do with the actual food. As our trip winds down we have to give a shout out to some of the little people who have made this trip so enjoyable and might we add preparatory in more ways than simply our adoption meetings and paperwork.

Earl and Sydney

     Real world experience is the best, and we had a taste thanks to (if we left one out we're sorry) Myles, Sydney, Joelle, Jaycie, Jarvina, Graysen, Bo, Asher, Klyvlnd, Kaylen, Judah, Elijah, Levi, and there were others around here and there that bring such a vibrancy to life. This is part of the adoption process which is so much fun, the kids, the joy they bring into everyone's lives. Of course we look forward to our own stories from our family, until that time we'll continue to enjoy those around us who bring so many smiles to our faces.

February 26th - Cake and Continents

     Sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same, not sure how that works but it does tend to in some way. The focus of this trip to Indiana has always been on the adoption process, so that has taken the first priority. With that being said we knew that there would be plenty of space for other aspects of life as well to fit around the time spent on the adoption prep meetings, interviews and trainings. Coming back to Indiana where we have spent 11 1/2 years of our married lives together means that we are able to see many people who we have relationship with, some for many years. At times on this trip it has meant doing what we used to do for fun i.e. high school basketball games, shopping at night, getting together to play games with friends; it has also been hanging out with old friends, and having it feel like time almost hasn't past, especially 3 1/2 years worth of time. It has meant going to our favorite places to eat out, mostly Mexican might I add which is not readily available in England, and being able to be at Family Worship Center each Sunday of our trip. What a blessing that has been, to be where we have been sent from and be able to have input there, great relationships there and meet with the Lord while gathering with the saints there.
     Reflecting on our time this past week there has been much adoption prep with our profile and online course that we have taken but also many of the aforementioned activities as well. We've asked ourselves many a time how many other people are so fortunate, no blessed to have not only an amazing set of friends and family in one location (in our case continent) and another grouping of friends and family in a far different location. That is our experience, so many close relationships throughout Northern Indiana and so many throughout the whole of England and especially the Basingstoke area. 
     As a result of this adoption being run through Indiana we get the opportunity at some point, when that point is we don't know, to come back here for another two month stretch while the adoption is being finalized. During that time we'll once again have many of the experiences that this trip has afforded us, that will be great to have that kind of space with friends and family here in the States. We will we miss our lives in England of course we will, but for us this is part of the journey that we are on, it is a bit like having our cake and eating it too. So for now we finish up our adoption process meetings in the near future and then wait to be approved as a potential adoptive family and go from there. All the while knowing that we have many walking with us whether that is from the east or west of the Atlantic, and that is a wonderful place to be.

February 21st - Creative Beginnings

       If the first couple weeks of our trip to Indiana was about traveling, meetings and interviews this third week was not about those aspects. In our last meeting with our specialist in Kouts we were informed about the family profile project that needs to be accomplished. We were under the assumption that this 'project' was a letter to expectant mothers, and while it used to be now it is much more robust than a letter. This means that it is like a scrapbook or for those of you that know Creative Memories, it is a book like that of us as prospective parents. That is a great idea to have one of these books, to be ultra-creative with the content, pictures, etc... A couple of factors that we had to take into account though, we found out that we need to have this profile done by the 1st of March, that's about a week and half, and we also need to have 10 copies of the book. So we're not talking one beautiful scrapbook with stickers, backgrounds and original pics, rather a reproducible booklet, not the easiest task in about a week's span. When we started to think about it we had about 3-4 days to do the whole thing if we were to get them printed in time.
      This meant that the last couple of days have been designing, looking for pics, creating, and to be honest it has been really fun. While we love to work together, doing that in this kind of context is not the easiest for us, but on this occasion it has gone quite swimmingly.  How will the booklet turn out, we'll have to wait to see the final product, we are very pleased with how it looks on the computer, thanks to facebook and the pics we have on the computer we have been able to do the whole project from the comfort of our home away from home here in Goshen. What a great week it has been to not be traveling here and there across the highways of Indiana.
     I wish that we had a dime for each time somebody has asked when we will get a child, unfortunately that is not an answer that we can offer. It's not one we can give now, and not one that we can give even after being approved. Speaking of being approved it looks as though the last of the requirements are going to be met quite soon and after a couple more meetings at the end of the month we should reach the approved status. That seems hard to believe considering that what we have done in a three-four week span is usually accomplished in 3-4 months instead. Once the approval is granted we are then on the list as ones who can adopt. I think it will be a huge change as we go about living our lives in England, we'll move house, do the regular activities of leading West, planning for this and that, all the while knowing that a phone call or email which will change our lives dramatically could come at any time. So the approval process is truly only the beginning, but without it there can't be another chapter written into the story, so that's what this trip is all about, beginnings, not always the most exciting stuff, but all needed and part of the bigger picture.

February 19th - The Robinson's and Relaxedness

     It is always exciting when Earl's parents are going to arrive, we don't get to see them all that often even when living in the States and now being England it is a once a year type of thing. This year a bit different with our trip here in February for all of this adoption process. As you would expect they are quite excited about the probabilities of being grand-parents and they showed up at our home away from home earlier than expected. This too is not unprecedented as one time they turned up at our house so early we were not out of bed yet, except for we were sleeping in the living room because it was so hot, and had forgotten to lock the door so my dad simply walked in and said get up what ya still sleeping for? This wasn't near as stark and once they came we hung out all night, chatted and watched a bit of television together. The Friday would be our first of two trips to Kouts to meet with our adoption specialist.

Cliff and Della along with Mandy Sue

     It was really great going back to Kouts after not being there for a few years, and meeting with our specialist brought an even clearer picture of the process into our minds. Working with the agency has been gold, they are wonderful people who really care for all the parties involved and we can feel that care from everyone of them. Our meeting went well and after 3 hours of digging into our lives we decided to descend upon the new Birky's Coffee Shop, it was their grand-opening so there was free coffee and other treats. We caught up with some friends (Jayson, Sandi, Jay and others) that we have not seen for a couple of years and enjoyed a nice lunch together. The meetings that we are having are really helpful, we can see why the home-study is so important, imagine if all parents had to go through that type of background check before having children, that would be interesting. Speaking of back-ground checks we found out that we have to do yet another one, this time for Elkhart County, we have not been in trouble with the law so it will be fine just the idea of yet one more check, the fingerprinting in two countries and now 4 separate checks on our background, luckily we're squeaky clean.
     Friday night came and we were off to one of our favorite pastimes in Indiana, high school basketball. On this occasion it was Goshen vs. Westview, and both the JV and Varsity games were close, we don't know any of the players but it was still great to be back in a gym on a Friday night, there will be plenty more of that to come on this trip no doubt. On the Saturday we decided to stay close to home and see what Goshen had to offer, and for a little city it has much to see and do. The Farmer's Market was open in the morning so meandering around there, getting a bit of tasty food to eat, some rich flavoured coffee, and the relaxedness (word?) of a Saturday morning without much happening was great. We knew there would be some relaxation with this trip but how much was an unknown, the times have been hit and miss but we don't feel overtaxed or over hurried which is encouraging. During the remainder of the time that they were with us we did a bit of shopping, played hand and foot along with Sequence. We were at Family Center on Sunday morning which Earl was really glad to get through leading worship as the cold he has had settled on Saturday and made his voice rough along with having plugged ears, that doesn't help when you're trying to sing.
     We both have said that if we were here attempting to do the adoption process while simply visiting or if we had another agenda that this would be too much. As you know though we are here for the adoption focus so it is OK, this next week we have a book to read, an online course to take and found out that we need to create a family profile, which is sort of like a scrapbook of us, that ought to be interesting as we don't have many materials to work with. We don't have other meetings at this point next week so there should be time in the diary for all of those things. This is a time that we feel we are being led by the Spirit, I as in Earl has been able to listen to a good amount of music while here and one of the songs that has really been speaking to me is the song Fall Afresh off of the Loft Sessions by Bethel, check it out here with this link, write again soon:)

February 16th - A Sweet Suite

     One of the aspects of this trip that we looked forward to was the traveling and one aspect that we did not look forward to was the traveling. As they say there you take the good and take the bad. Our second trip down to Indy was exactly a week after the first, we were more rested and probably better prepared for this particular trip. It was Valentine's Day a great day for a meeting hey, anyway we decided to get a hotel for the evening rather than drive back in the late night, what a great decision that was. We logged into the hotel at 3:15 in the afternoon, enjoyed the exercise room, hot tub and our room all before going back out for the meeting in the evening. Earlier that day we had stopped in at Bethany to drop off some paperwork for our file and we met the lead adoption specialist in the office. She surprisingly said 'we just got finished with a team meeting about you' that was not what we expected, then she invited us to sit down and we'd all go over some new information together. We had thought we'd just stop by to drop off some documents and instead we had a meeting on the spot which did prove helpful to us, a bit more understanding of how this whole process can work for us.
     The evening meeting was about attachment, that is a very important subject when dealing with adoption. When, how and to what extent does an adopted child attach to the parents are key questions and this particular seminar focused on this subject, it was helpful to us as we look to having a child attach to us in the future. After a good night's sleep we also decided to enjoy the amenities of the hotel on the next day as well, so a hot complimentary breakfast was first on the docket. We once again used the exercise machines and hot tub, television and eventually checked out at 11:59, I'd say we got our money's worth on that occasion. With all that is going on in our heads it is great to get an evening away, and with Earl's parents coming for the weekend having some alone time was quite valuable, as you can expect there is much to discuss together.

     One of the great aspects of this trip is that we are staying in a great house right in the Goshen, so it is really close to many of our friends. We're both quite relational people so having friends and others around is fabulous, after our arrival back 'home' Karisa stopped in for the rest of the day and evening, just us eating dinner, watching tv and hanging out. Having space to hang out like that is really food for our souls, and since moving from Goshen 3 1/2 years ago we have realized the deepness of relationship that exists here with so many people. Of course we really miss being back in Overton, seeing many familiar faces day in and day out, but for this month stretch at least the familiar faces are ones of Hoosiers, and quite soon Cliff and Della. On Thursday they arrive and Friday we are off to Kouts for the next part of the home study, this will be a meeting with our specialist about us, it will last for probably 3 hours or so, should be much fun.

February 15th - Settlers and Stories

     Coming back to where you have lived for a long time is always an interesting time, how do you see everyone yet also do what you need to do, and not get worn out through it all. Going shopping for food here in the US is not as easy as it used to be, we are still overwhelmed by the choice and availability of everything one might want. I suppose we have been living across the street from the Co-op shop in Overton for a couple of years but it is only the size of most produce areas in supermarkets here. Enough complaining though, we are having a great time in Goshen with our church family in this area. When leaving Family Worship Centre some 3 1/2 years ago we really felt sent out and that feeling has not changed for us, it is a very welcoming and comfortable place for us to be, even if that be only for a few weeks per year.

     The first weekend of being here has been great, we have caught up with many friends built up over the years of living here. Our good friends Jeremy and Ang had us over simply to hang out with them and their kids on Saturday, that is so cool to be able to join others in their lives. This was followed on Sunday by attending the church meeting where a familiar topic of discipleship was spoken on, always good to hear about how we are to walk and grow in Christ. After a fine lunch at Hacienda one of the staples of dining in Goshen a church wide games party was thrown and a large crowd came out for the event. For the strategy gamers there was Settlers, Ticket to Ride, Euchre and War for card gamers and party-like games upstairs for most of the gals.  It is such a blessing to spend time with our friends, here to see their children growing up, and be encouraged by their walks with Christ as they go through ups and downs like we are. There have been some adoption type things going on as well over this weekend.

     For those of you who have been through any kind of adoption process you'll appreciate that privacy and knowing when/what to say is a key feature of the story. That is our experience as well, there have been some background stories taking place that we don't feel we can be very open with, at least until the timing is right. One of these background stories took place in our first week here as we answered an email while in England about adopting a newborn through a private situation. Of course we were very excited about this possibility and began looking for either open or closed doors. We often talk about God being able to open any door and while that is true, He might be better at closing doors before we either walk into them or get into the next room without a way out. In this case the door was open for a short period of time and now it seems as though it has effectively closed. As you can expect this has not been easy for us, but it is all part of the story and adventure that God has us embarked upon.

February 13th - Up and Down All Around

About the only sure thing we know about this trip is that we are here for at least a month, what happens within that month is what we are unsure about. So far this calendar year has been full of ups and downs, I'm sure that is normal for many people but the swings we've had felt quite drastic. As you may have read in earlier posts we were asked to move by our landlord because he is going to sell the property, and the original date for moving out was while were here in America. It's hard enough moving house, try doing it when you're not in the country. Anyway we did in fact get that changed to where we can move at the end of March instead which gives us a little under three weeks once we're back, but we have a place to go to. When you're in the middle of indecision it is easy to worry and worst-case scenario, but that is when God is at his best in the eleventh hour. We handed in the papers on the new rented house on the Saturday before leaving for the US, so not much extra time, a couple of days to be exact.

While there has been uncertainty on the housing front in Overton there is of course uncertainty and the potential for the canyon of worry to have to be crossed while walking through our training and interviews here as well. Wednesday was a day where we relaxed a bit in the morning, then did a couple of errands, hung out with Karisa at IHOP (they have some great breakfast food, the kind of chow we don't usually get in the UK) and heard all about her latest travels. Eventually after Rebecca had gone back to her old school West Side where she taught we ended up at Meijer, now this may not sound interesting especially to those of you in Michiana but for us who are used to shopping at Lidl or the Co-op, Meijer is like another world. Take your largest Tesco and then add another half of one on to that and you have the Meijer we go to. It has everything to say the least, and choice is what hits us in the face the first few times we darken it's doors. For example we were in the cereal aisle and Rebecca said just grab one of them that's on sale, sounds easiest enough so which of the 85 varieties that have a sale price do I choose, at Lidl I simply pick up the only Fruit and Fibre choice and put it in the trolley. Enough about our shopping, we did get out unscathed and back to our home away from home for a while.
We were quite nervous because coming on Thursday morning was the first part of our home-study, ironic in that we don't have a home to study here. It is more of a study of us, are we cut out to be adoptive parents, what are our strengths, weaknesses, stories of life etc... In short we of course loved this as it was great to share with our adoption specialist over the dining room table about life. It was not intimidating rather very relaxed and interesting as we shared and listened to her stories and thoughts. We found out that there are three of these sessions so as the first three hours drew to a close we started to look forward to the next meeting this time in Kouts not here in our little house in Goshen.

February 11th - two days out of thirty

Courthouse in Goshen

      We have hit the ground running, after a mostly uneventful airline journey. The plane was not totally full so we each had a couple of seats to relax in, that was an unexpected blessing. We were then picked up right on time by our friend Angie who then drove us back to Goshen and dropped us off at our residence for the month. It is really a place of peace, we have much physical room in the house and the opportunity for head space/relaxation really easily. That is an aspect of this kind of trip that probably could be underestimated but with so much happening it is great to have a place to crash that's all ours. There was some food in the pantry, Angie had some already prepared food for us, there's fast Internet and even a treadmill so we can exercise indoors as it's cold outside. That was Monday taken care of and then it was down to Indy on Tuesday after having our fingerprints done again, I guess bio-metrics in the US and UK is not enough, we're still not criminals and don't plan on turning that kind of life any time soon or anytime at all for that matter.
     The drive to Indy was one that took us by surprise, we are used to rolling hills of Southern England, the busy roads, old beautiful buildings etc... on this group of roads it was farmland to the right and left, a little town once a half-hour, gray skies, brown ground for the 2 1/2 hours until just outside of Indy. It was easy driving so we'll take that but can't say too much for the scenery or lack thereof on this particular drive.
We found our destination without any trouble at all, highways here are so wide, for the most part empty and easy to navigate. With a little time to burn, where else but a coffee shop, in this instance a Starbucks they're not too hard to come across, simply open your eyes when in a large city. The meeting we attended was a panel meeting where we heard from a couple who has attended, their stories of sadness, excitement, bad news and joy all rolled into one package of adoption. This was somewhat informative but then there was a panel of three mothers who had given birth and placed their children with adoptive families. This was very moving, the bravery they showed was immense, they remarked as too how difficult it is to give up your child, but that in every case they knew what was best for the baby. These mothers were inspirational and we walked away from that meeting with some new questions but also much excitement ourselves.
     One area of this process that we find difficult is not letting our excitement level grow too high too quickly, this is a road to walk down not a road that we drive a racing car down. Finding that balance is some of what this trip is about, and in the next couple of days we'll face some new questions and conversations which are all part of this journey. It seems like much has happened on our trip already, that was only the first couple of days more to come in later blog entries, so check back in on after the weekend.