29th July - The Now and Not Yet - A YES from Matching Panel

The above phrase was one that took a place in the lore of our Bible college year as numerous visiting speakers used this phrase when talking about the Bible. I had never heard of the 'now and not yet' until 7 years ago sitting in the Vale Room in Oxford. Essentially it is a way of looking at how the Bible explains the growth of the Kingdom of God throughout time. It is growing here on earth presently which is the now, but also recognising that there is much which has not happened yet, it will in time but not yet. While it is a great statement for the Kingdom of God it could take meaning for a wider variety of aspects of life too.

While driving back from our matching panel meeting this afternoon Rebecca and I were searching for the metaphor or phrase we'd use to describe today. That familiar one 'the now and not yet' sprang to mind. There is much we are processing daily, whether that be acquiring something for the girls bedroom, maybe it's car seats or some children's books. It feels like daily something is added to the temporary holding point of the front room where gifts and purchases are being stashed. Seemingly daily there are emails or some kind of communication with our agency or with a local authority pertaining to dates and details. There are the more than daily conversations we have together. There are updates to friends who we bump into in the village or seeing people at some type of church gathering. All of this is now, it is present, it is exciting and at times quite exhausting. It feels like we are preparing on speed, after only figuring out what we really needed less than a fortnight ago from today.

The meeting today was also 'now', it was another milestone on the journey that we have now passed. The matching panel gives their approval to perspective adopters after reading their information and the children's information along with an interview type meeting. Today we sat in front of a group of 12 people some on the panel and also some social workers. Unlike some interviews we had a list of the questions which we were going to be asked, being able to work through our possible answers ahead of time was really helpful. The whole morning went exactly as planned, there were no curve balls, there was nothing which surprised or frustrated us. Much like the last time we went to panel we felt the prayers of so many others with us in both the waiting room and the board room. We have now travelled past the matching panel on we go into the 'not yet'

There is no doubt that we are relishing the 'now', it's a special time of preparing. By no means do we want to just look to the next stage or the next important meeting but I have to admit we do. We all do, it's in the  'Not yet' is where life gets very interesting. Isn't it exhilarating to ponder what's next, where might I be in two years, five years, what about in retirement? While it is so important to live in the present it's also human nature to think about the 'not yet'.

The final question today was along the lines of what are hopes for the future of the girls? It was a special question, it wasn't only about how might we handle a situation, or what kind of support system do we have around us. It was a query with emotion attached, it was one that brought tears to both of our eyes as we answered. A question like that really deserves an extended time to think about before attempting to formulate an answer.

It's the kind of question that you discuss when lying outdoors at night staring at the stars or gazing at the cloud formations rolling by on a summer's day. I suppose it's a recipe of blue-sky thinking mixed in with expectations, a bit of planning, a whole lot of flexibility and more than a dash of prayer. I know enough about children that there aren't blueprints drawn up as to how they will develop and grow into who they are. There are not formulas which can simply be plugged in and then your child/children will be what you planned or expected. I think that the excitement will be in watching them figure that out, seeing them be creative, trying new things, sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing but growing into who they are through it all. That's the hope, that they will grow into who they are meant to be.