November 27th - Thanksgiving and a smile

     Today is the day that we get to share our news, it's not like somebody enforced this date upon us it has been our choice. With this kind of thing we thought it important to get far enough down the road that we actually had something to say. I suppose this could be argued, but in reality there is still unsurity about it all until an adoption has totally gone through. This is one area where faith kicks in, if we as people could see the big picture, the details of what may be in the road ahead and know for sure how to proceed where would the role of faith be? We can know some of what may be ahead but not the full picture in every circumstance. With our journey there are sure to be some setbacks and questions that we face, and in reality the answers may not come immediately. Again is this not where faith kicks in? In all honesty today is not the day to be waxing theological, it is rather a day to be full-on excited.

     We have an amazing church family that we have the great opportunity to lead, and today at the Overton Methodist Chapel at the annual thanksgiving meeting we were able to share our heart and where we are up to now with our journey of adoption. There were so many great stories of thanksgiving throughout the morning gathering, and many of them centrered to some extent around family. So for us to get up and come forward to share our news about extending our family was a great way to cap off the morning. It was an intense feeling to be standing there in front of those that we care so deeply for and ones who care deeply for us and mutually want the best for each other. To break the news that you've been reading about on this blog with all those smiling faces was quite exhilirating. The response that we received was what we expected, that was of happiness, more thanksgiving and many words of encouragement. A dear man in our congregation came up to me afterward and simply said 'enjoy it, enjoy being a dad' and he had the biggest smile on his face as he gave me a hug. Rebecca was inundated with women who were excited for her.
     We don't feel as though we are walking this road alone, there are many here at West and around Basingstoke, the UK, Indiana, Elmira and further afield who are with us as well. That too is fabulous, to have so many that care about us, how life is going for us, and what our hopes and dreams are. So now we are almost caught up on the blog, I'm sure as more news comes into focus it will be chronicled.

November 19th - Top Secret Cat

     Have you ever had a secret that you were holding on to but you so desperately wanted to tell? Or maybe you've had a surprise planned for someone like a birthday party or romantic dinner and you couldn't wait for the secrecy to be over. That is a bit of what the last couple of weeks has been like. For us we've been thinking and praying about this for so long that we forget that most everyone we know does not know of our plans. Here we possess a great and potentially life changing piece of news, but still only a handful of the many people that we know are actually aware of it. The day is nearing when we can spill the beans and let the cat out of the bag, but alas that day is not here yet. Meanwhile we strategize and dream about the future and what it may hold. There will be a bursting forth soon enough but for now it's still top secret and hush-hush.

8th November - Walk on with a Table of Contents

     Today the email that we've been waiting for arrived and it contained the info that we were trusting for. Our formal application has been approved so on to the work of digging through the 27PDF's that came attached to the email. Hopefully most of them aren't soul searching essay type responses, rather more the sign your name and date it type of document. To say that we are excited would be an understatement, to say we are over the moon is probably more like it. With this kind of process there are many details and so many forms to deal with. We understand that and are up for the challenge, we've sort of been here before. The packet that we submitted for our visa to the UK had as it's first page a table of contents, so that the end recipient could wade through our mountain of copies, forms, pictures etc...
     I trust that as we dig further into this detail we'll find the answer we are looking for. It seems to me that there there is a U2 song reference somewhere in there. I suppose if we continue to walk on we'll see how it goes with all the meetings, interviews and discussions that need to take place in the coming months. As always we'll keep ya informed.

7th November 2011 - A present and Jack

     We have had a wonderful week away at an amazing modern restored cabin in the rural countryside of Somerset. For the most part it was really beautiful weather and we were totally relaxed. We had not heard anything back from Bethany since going to the Post Office in late October, and to be honest didn't really know what the next steps were other than waiting. The ability to wait is an important trait to possess but my how difficult it can be. We all know what it's like on December 20th, the gifts are under the tree but Christmas is still almost a week away and all you can do is look and wait for the 25th. Or maybe you've had the awful experience of a potential employer calling you back about a job, but at that point your only job is to wait until they call, my how that can be tough. We expect that there will be some waiting involved in this adoption process, good things come to those who wait or so the saying goes. Such is the point where we are at presently as Jack Johnson wrote just sitting, waiting, wishing, not exactly our situation but hey at least those lyrics work.

 

October 27th - Post Office and Indy

     Today we decided to go into Basingstoke to make a visit to the bank and then a few doors down to the Post Office. Our walk into the bank to deposit the cash from Monday, that was a very exhilarating action to input the money with such purpose. Then to do go down the street to the Post Office where our formal application packet was now complete and put on the scale to be weighed and priced. This packet was going off to Indy to the agency offices where it will be processed. For now we wait until the emails come indicating more green lights on the road to adoption, we trust this application does not get lost on the way to Indy like the other one.

October 24th 2011 - An envelope and detour sign

     A Monday morning and it seemed like one of those days that was not going to slow down. You know what it’s like when you take two steps forward and one step back, or even worse one step forward and two steps back. We have our normal prayer meeting at the office and then another meeting starting 15 minutes later. It turned out that I needed to talk to a couple of people in between, in addition to printing a couple of documents too. Rebecca had gone into town to go swimming and get a coffee, do a bit of shopping and then I’d meet her and another friend of ours at a coffee shop at 11:30ish. By 12:00 the meeting I was in ended and I was in a rush already running a half-hour late for our time at the shop and having a 1:00 ministers meeting in Oakley. (Very few days are this back to back, but such the life on certain days) Before dashing out the door Mike the administrator at BCC’s called me into his office and closed the door behind me, this meant a level of importance higher than how do you do. He briskly handed me a sealed envelope, he said it was for us, not from him he was the go-between. He also stated it was not for the church, or do to our work for the church, it was simply for us. When you get a surprise package like this the mind runs quickly and you can get overwhelmed by the generosity and potential change of your situation. I had to rush off to meet our friend knowing full well that I possessed an envelope of who knows what in my bag, but I couldn’t say anything to Rebecca yet. Once we got back to car that would be ok to spring that on her without time to open it would not be very wise would it? Once we did in the car I revealed the envelope and decided that we’d open it there and count whatever money was contained within it. Let’s just say that we were blown away, the joy we experienced, the awe of a generous and faithful God seen through this gift. It was quite a car ride, we had to detour because of road works. 

 

         To be honest I was so flabbergasted by the contents of the envelope that I struggled to help Rebecca with directions to get back to Oakley with the detours we were encountering. I did in fact run about 20 minutes to next meeting also, such the way the day went, better late than never as they say. A couple days later we found out that the amount given to us when translated into USD (American Dollars) it is within 20 bucks of the amount needed for the home study and interviews. If this is not confirmation what is, at this point for us it full speed and dead ahead.

October 20th 2011 - Giant's Causeway and the Concord Minutmen

It’s Thursday again and our deemed day off during the week. Usually these days are spent going shopping, seeing a movie, out to sight see or hanging out with friends but today we resolved to some more work done on the adoption front. We’d decided to call on a number of the financial bits back in the U.S. There is much information that is required on the forms most of which is not soul searching although some of the questions are more easily answered than others. After applying ourselves for a while and once again having success we thought we’d look into some other finance possibilities we have back in the U.S. I don’t know about you but making calls waiting on the line asking questions about info you don’t really understand is not my idea of a good time. For these couple of hours though it was not hardship, in fact it was actually quite fun.

Once again NLC champs this season

      Again we found ourselves with a mound of good news. Another life insurance policy could be borrowed against again without a massive payback due on what we borrow. The years put in at Concord could net us some money in an annuity program and a couple of other little amounts here and there continues to make the financial climb not as steep as it did some 24 hours earlier. 

We’ve been told that is a very faith building and bold step into the wild, and it does in fact feel like that. One of the prophetic pictures that we had while at Kings Bible College was of the Giant’s Causeway in Northern Ireland. This is a group of large stones under the sea that can be seen from above quite easily but cannot really be seen when on the water’s surface. They are there under the water but you can’t really see them, and the word said that we were to live our lives like we were on the Giant’s Causeway on one rock and then blindly stepping out to the next. We will know that the rock is there but not be able to see it, but step out in faith it is there even if just under the surface. Hey we have moved to England and are leading a church here so stepping out is something that we have done and I’m sure will continue to happen.

The Giant's Causeway, someday we'll travel there

October 19th 2011 - Mountain Fog and the Pearl

     There are some very emotional aspects to adoption which cannot be minimized. There are also some very practical aspects to the process that cannot be minimized either. These include the paperwork, travel included, the practicalities of having a larger family for example. Maybe the most seemingly insurmountable peak is that of finance that is needed, let’s suffice it to say that adopting in this way is not terribly cheap, in fact it very costly. In the Bible Jesus told of the man who spotted a pearl he wanted in fact the pearl that desired greatly, he went and sold all to purchase it. When he had sold and purchased it he was the proud owner of a pearl at great price. He did pay much but he was in possession of the pearl, we feel this way as the addition to our family will be very costly but in the end we will have another a new member in our family.
The plan for this blog is not to drum up finance and fundraising ideas or events, but rather to give you a peek into the financial aspect of this adventure. We are very confident that provision will be there when needed and this will come from varied sources.
The 19^th of Oct is very special on this front as today we received two bits of good news, firstly my mom and dad called back to say that if we wanted to borrow some money from the  life insurance policy they took out on my when I was born we can. This would be without penalty and almost without cost because of the way that it is written out we only have to pay back 5 % of what we borrow.  This was quite amazing news and my mom uttered the memorable line…

                   

‘who knew that when we took out this policy when you were a baby that some of that money may be used for another baby’

     That was quite a special phone call with them, of course their excitement is extremely unbridled. Fast forward a couple of hours and an email came through from friends who wrote that they wanted to help us and be part of the joy as well. In the email it stated that they were going to transfer some money to our American account, what amazing news to have friends standing with us in this way. Do you know what that feels like? To have people give you money a true gift offering, nothing expected in return but our gratitude and news of how it’s going. In one night the mountain has started to be scaled, the summit is a long way off but it can be seen through the breaks in the clouds and fog.

October 12th 2011 - Newspaper and a Goal

     It is another momentous day in our adventure as today we have received the email confirmation of our pre-app and the formal application paperwork.  This means that we have already gone farther than ever before, have not put out any money yet,  but have put ourselves out there emotionally. So far this week has been one full of good news within the church family and now this as well, praise the Lord! Seeing the forms opens up the fact and thoughts that this is not easy, there is much soul searching to take place as we answer questions on paper, email and soon enough back in Indiana. We have an autumn half-term coming up in 2 weeks and the next goal that we’ve set is to send off this packet with all the pertinent information on our finances, family backgrounds, thoughts on adoption etc… This seems like an undaunting task but in reality what part of this is daunting? The goal is set and we’ll have to see how we get on. 

An ice hockey goal, what a great sport

September 30th 2011- The Leadership Team and House

     Rebecca was in the middle of her trip to America to celebrate her mother’s birthday and while there the plan was to mail off our pre-application. As you would expect there is much paperwork, forms and interviews to be done when navigating through these mostly unchartered waters. How many other people do you know that move to a foreign land and then while living there feel led to and choose to adopt from their homeland. The forms that she had mailed unfortunately had not gotten to their destination in Indy which caused us a bit of concern. Here it is the first formal step and already a hiccup. Soon before Rebecca left for Goshen we had sat down with each member our leadership team in the church, for them their leaders going into this process has effect on their lives as well. God’s placement is always best though; two of the couples have walked through adoption as grandparents, Dave and Jeanette with the aforementioned Elizabeth and Josiah while Tony and Gina are grandparents to Jack and Lottie.

      Can you believe that just under half of our team have adoption already in the forefront of their families and minds. As you might expect our news was met with much elation, hugs, tears etc…. all full well knowing that this meant potential changes for all of us. How would we cope with the amount of travel, what about the finance, legal questions, how would the church react and move forward in our absences, what about our living situation in our grade 2 listed house on Winchester St with our dear friend Lizzie? These are a various sundry of questions, most of which are unanswerable presently. It feels as though we are not and we know we are not going through this adventure alone, there are many journeying if not literally metaphorically with us.

September 15th 2011 - The Green Couch and BT 3500

One of the prayers that ascended the previous night was to the essence of the idea that we’d be able to sit down and actually do some researching online without interruption. This may seem like a small thing but to have space where there are no other distractions is not the most common occurrence. A bit more background here would probably be helpful to understand our story better. For many years we have contemplated and prayed about adoption since we have desired a family and it has not happened naturally as of yet. The timing never felt right while living in Indiana and then we found ourselves moving to Hampshire and living in the south of England. The door was now closed on this particular dream of ours, or so we thought. In an attempt to keep our heads above water in a new culture, home, church, side of the road etc… we never felt the urge to look into adoption while being in Overton for the first 2 ½ years. Around February 2011 we did a bit of looking online and found an agency that dealt with international adoption. Basically each time we attempted to find out info, email, pray, talk about it, distraction, argument and frustration ensued. We didn’t this as a ‘no’ rather as a ‘not yet’. Fast forward to 15th September and the fact that we actually researched, made an email inquiry which was answered within that day, a couple of phone calls later the time on the green couch in our living room was a relaxed couple of hours. This was an answer to the previous night’s prayer, seemingly insignificant but in actuality the jumpstart and confirmation we needed to press forward with this potential amazing journey.

Our green couch

     The other key factor of why the 15th is so important was a phone call that I had with the emabassy in London. We were attempting to find out about us using an American agency and how that could possibly work since with presently live in the UK. The answer made our heart jump as the other end of the line confirmed that we could in fact use the American system and not have to go through the UK system. While many of the national systems in this country are effective, the adoption process is extremely tight and the number of adoptions has plummeted over the last few years. The door is certainly closed to non UK citizens residing here, so to hear that we could circumvent this system and legally use the American one we were to say the least elated. That phone call while sitting on the green couch was another piece of good news and further confirmation to us.

September 14th 2011 - Putney Bridge and 5 Minutes

Putney Bridge

We had just arrived back at the Downer’s house, quite tired after a day in SouthWest London at a pastor’s day with Christchurch Fulham. On the journey there Rebecca, Kari, Andy and myself were having an interesting discussion about adoption. We were finding out more about their stories as they have brought Elizabeth and Josiah into their family. This took place while they lived in South Carolina in the US before moving to France for a year’s worth of language training before heading off a couple of years ago to the northern part of Cameroon. That is not the normal blueprint for adoption, but it is a winding road they had entered into many years ago. They had both praised the adoption organization they had used along with stating how much they learned and grew in their faith through all of the twists and turns. I remember preparing to ask them a couple more searching questions when we hit heavy traffic before crossing the Putney Bridge. We had to pay special attention to the street names and signs at this point. The topic of adoption never resurfaced until finishing our journey back in Oakley around 8:00 that evening.
There in the car Kari reminded us all that they would like to pray for us and our thoughts about adopting. The prayers were simple to the ear but intensive to the heart. Those prayers and exchanges of a handful of websites lasted maybe 5 minutes but they are proving to be 5 minutes that are changing our lives.