Reading now and then - July 24th

     Tomorrow we head to Reading for the first day of four adoption training days. We are just a tad excited as this is the next step in our process, it will be with a number of other couples who are in the same boat. A bit of solidarity sounds like a good thing to me, conversation and connection with others who have had similar experience, with ups and downs along the way. This is not the first time we venture to Reading (it's where our adoption agency is located) we also traveled there back in May for an initial interview to see if we would be accepted as clients for this agency.

I wrote about our experience and thoughts on that day, read on to see what was rattling in our minds on that occasion a couple of months ago. It's crazy how much has changed since that time with moving surprisingly, being provided for a place to live, a place to store our stuff, our visa application being processed, passing the life in the UK test, Earl's parents visiting, endless days of summer; what does rain look like and feel like? Anyway here are our thoughts from a couple of months ago...
     After hardly any movement on our process for months the day of our entrance interview came very quickly. We were off to start on a new adventure! First task was finding the office in Reading and being on time, arriving late to a first interview is not the way to make a splash. We agreed to leave plenty of time to drive to the park and ride, walk through the city centre and find the correct side street. All went according to plan and on this dreary, rainy May morning we had sunshine in our hearts and dodging the raindrops didn't seem as frustrating on this walk.
     We entered in, met the social worker, exchanged pleasantries and were off and running on a 2 1/2 hour initial interview. It seemed as though it went quite in-depth, although maybe we answered with longer stories than the average interviewed couple. Is there really an average couple? All people and cases are totally different so it really doesn't matter if we are like another or even if we compare to the others. We have been through this before so there wasn't anything that took us by surprise except for the comfortability (word? if not should be) between us and the social worker.
     We've heard stories many a time of how they are seemingly 'out to get people' (I don't think this is true but I can see how decisions would lead people to think otherwise) but she was on our side. Her goal was to do an initial assessment of us, write it all up, pass it on to a manager who would decide if we were ones to proceed down the road to adopting with this particular agency. In thinking more about there were a couple of questions that did make us ponder and chuckle at the same time.
     Firstly she asked what gender and age child would we like? That is so weird and sad to think that in a way we will be able to hand-pick from the appropriate children, which one we would like to become a Robinson. This is not the way that it works in Indiana, for us it was always going to be a new-born and not really our choice, in fact the choice of the mother first and foremost. To be honest we've been asked that before by other people and to me the only correct response or answer is to accept the gender that comes to you and to pray that he or she is a healthy baby. Well that was the first question, the next one made us glance and smile at each other.
     'How many do you want' we're not talking about buying chocolate bars or ice cream cones here, we're talking about living, breathing, take many years to grow up children that will be yours and take your name. Not some products off a shelf or ordered at the till rather young humans. How many do we want? We looked at each other smiled and said two, we've been thinking about siblings, how we are both only's and how wonderful it would be to have more than one. Our worker said, 'two, how about three or four, what's your limit?' this did make us laugh, LOL actually. We're a couple who has been such for 17 years and now we're being asked if want to be a family of six overnight! While it sounded brave and exciting we decided that one or a pair would be enough of a change, and that we were open to 0-4 year olds. This was and is a big shift in our thinking/planning as the adoption through our agency in Indiana was always going to be one and a newborn. Now it could possibly be two and one of them almost old enough for school.
     To say the least we felt good about our initial meeting, and while it carried on raining we were still unbothered (also not in the dictionary, I'm surprised by that), by the drops falling as we walked back to the city centre.

On reflection while eating at Misson Burrito, which will probably be our go-to place in Reading we remarked how well things had gone and how quickly the process was going. We also stated that this was hopefully just the first trip to Reading out of what could be many more. Those many more start up again tomorrow, if you read this remember us in your prayers and thoughts, blessings
e and r

Tent Dwellers? The story of our housing - July 18th

     For those of you that know us from living in Goshen would agree that we are settlers when it comes to housing after living in the same apartment for 9+ years. For those of you who know us from Overton probably think that we are either pioneers, love the change of address or are simply unlucky in our housing situations.

Why write about our housing on an adoption blog? 

     Rebecca and I have been told many times that we are like Abraham and Sarah, following God in faith, leaving our homeland, waiting for promises, trusting God for children and now we can add those who move from place to place and house to house onto that list. I think that as you read on you'll recognise as we have that our Father in Heaven has been His miraculous Being with us the whole time. (If you want to read about just the latest housing story then skip down to the green arrow)

    Turning up in this country almost 5 years ago (ya it's been that long:) we had hardly any possessions here but for some clothes, a computer, guitar and a few board games. The rental market in the villages are incredibly quick moving and our first cottage had three on the waiting list the day it went up. After that weekend we were first in the queue and the church here was able to secure it for us as our first dwelling.

     After about a year we felt very clearly from God the call to live in community, to share life with others in an intimate close dwelling house-share situation. This was a step for us, but one that we were excited about taking, of course having a place to call home that was big enough was the next step. That query was answered when we were approached about renting an amazing grade 2 listed house (parts of it built before Columbus sailed the ocean blue) right in the heart of the village. For those of you who had the opportunity to visit us while there you'll know what a marvelous provision 14 Winchester was. In many respects living there was a steep learning curve, and it was whilst we were there we really felt the call to walk down the adoption road. There was one major problem; this beautiful dwelling was not very suitable for little children and after inquiry with the landlord it was decided that we could not have children and carry on living there. 

     After living there for a little more than two years we were informed that the house was going to be sold, tough news, but after reflection we could see God's hands all over our situation. Our estate agent said don't worry there's a great 4 bedroom place that is going to be available right when you need it, so in some respects kick back and relax. That mental relaxation didn't last long as he shared with us that the house he had pegged for us was not going to be vacant after all, and that he did not have any other options for us either. Then after a couple of weeks we ran into him on the street and he said it was going to available would we like to see it that week before it went on the market? Often in life we have to wait, we know that with this move we signed on 24 Glebe Meadow the day before Lizzie went on holiday and a couple of days before our adoption trip in February 2012. What peace of mind knowing when we returned we had a new place to lay our head, and a place that was going to be long term. 

 

We took long term to mean this was ours (we were renting but still making it ours as much as possible) we were able to transform the garden, paint if we like, call it home basically. When my parents came to England to visit us on the 11th of June we were gushing about how our house was going to be an impeccable place to raise children and they agreed wholeheartedly. Imagine our surprise when on return from lunch that same Tuesday a call from the estate agent stating that we were being served notice (we had to move) within a two-month period! We reluctantly had him over to talk in person, Lizzie, Rebecca and I all stayed downstairs to meet with him while my parents sat and waited in the red room upstairs.It was accurate the landlord was moving back and he intended to live in his house, this after not visiting the property for over a decade. We were all taken aback as was our estate agent. On this occasion he didn't have any leads of a place, and after surfing around the net a bit we discovered nothing to rent either. 

     It's at this point when questions start to surface in the mind... what if nothing comes up? where else could we go? is there somewhere short term? what are our options? After a great holiday with Cliff and Della we then turned our thoughts to 'what's next' and 'what if''? How quickly we can forget the promises of God, for every what if there is a but God, and we hold fast to the truth of 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'. We kicked around a few ideas all leaving us without real answers, there was still nothing and we knew that the 21st of August we had to move whether we had somewhere permanent or not.  So we all carried on praying and there was a whole church praying for us, in fact a prayer meeting for the men of the church was happening on the Wednesday. 

     Rebecca and I decided to go down to the parish church and pray about a variety of areas of our life and the lives of the church, and after returning home the rector called with some interesting news. He had been speaking with a lady at the school fete who mentioned in conversation they were moving, did he know of anyone who might want to rent a 3 bedroom place in the village? We had spoken with Ian (the rector) the day before and he indicated that he knew of nothing around to rent either. He quickly rang us with this news, we attempted to hide our excitement, but after a couple of hours we had to take action and call. Turns out they were putting the house on the rental market that in two days time, but our meeting took place that night, and after walking out, those questions that rolled around our minds were once again answered. 

     Something from nothing, that's the way God works, He created from nothing, he consistently provides and in this case a house when there were no other suitable ones, a long term let where raising children will be a joy. Smack dab in the middle of the village, walking distance to shops, parks, allotments, our church facility, friends etc... another provision. There is a ten-day gap between moving from one to the next and the Lord has given us space for our stuff be stored across the street in our friends garage. Yesterday we found out that we can house sit at another friends house until it is time for us to officially move at the end of August.      This time we have an answer before the 11th hour, before we have our home-study for the adoption, during August when we have more time, we have a place to stay in the interim. There are so many reasons to shout it from the mountaintops who and how God is. I don't think we are simply unlucky in our housing, for us it is our journey, one of faith, moving from here to there and finding contentment in every situation. Rather we have the opps to see answers to pray right before our eyes, what a privilege and exciting life to lead. Please pass on this blog if you know of others who are experiencing times of question, or times of having to move or in a place where faith is needed, our Father will never leave or forsake us! 

That's right I need to call - May 15th and 16th

     Maybe it was of being scared of the answer, maybe it was procrastination, maybe it was the timing of God? I had on my list to call an adoption charity here in this country. I hadn't done it, could not seem to remember to make the call. Our friends Julian and Florence had their adoption go through at the very end of March and of course we were over the moon for them. While playing golf with Julian on a beautiful spring afternoon he mentioned to me the name of the agency that they had used, they did not use the council as most do. I logged the name and made a note to call.
     My call didn't come until the 15th of May, the 15th is an important day in our lives because 3 years to the day Rebecca's father Larry passed away from a short battle with cancer. He was a caring man who would have been pulling for us all the way through our adoption journey. I had contacted the council about a week previous to hear that we could in fact adopt in this country but only after our new visa had totally gone through. At that point we could inquire further with the county council. That was great news but it didn't seem like that open of a door, more of one that wasn't fully latched.

     The Wednesday morning of the 15th I remember to call soon before having to leave to pick Rebecca up from her weekly prayer meeting with other ladies in the church. I didn't know it but at that time I made the call they were praying for us, specifically about our next step and our communication with the agency. I explained our situation briefly to the receptionist and she transferred  me to the domestic department where I once again explained our situation briefly. Just after i finished she informed that there was nothing we could do until after the visa was in our possession. At that point her manager walked past and she put the phone down to talk with him, I didn't have much faith at that point as I expected their chat to be fruitless to our efforts. Upon coming back on the phone her voice was one of surprise as she exclaimed with excitement that we could in fact get started with the process right away. Before I knew it I was giving details of our email, address, birthdates etc... and she finished by saying that somebody from the agency would contact us in the next week to arrange an initial interview. I was gleeful and immediately phoned Rebecca to inform of my running late, but for a very good reason this time! She was shocked and hurriedly passed on the news to the praying ladies who their heard their just offered prayer being answered on the spot.

     We've learned that waiting isn't much fun but along the way there are many cool surprises and the fact that the agency called back the next day was icing on the proverbial cake. Our thoughts about the ILR and our process were true, we were going for an interview in this country, to adopt from this country While the TV show Father Knows Best is certainly dated and sort of irrelevant, it is true that our Heavenly Father does know best and He is never dated or irrelevant.

But God...by Rebecca - July 7th

     When we are struggling or have questions or are confused about life, friends are amazing, they can encourage and help us have strength for whatever life is throwing our way.  I am so blessed by the many friends that I have, friends here in England who have become like family even though I have know them for only a handful of years and friends who I have known nearly a lifetime back in Indiana who are so precious to me especially as our times together are often not as long as we would like them to be. There is one friend though that is different than all of my other friends.  He is my friend who sticks closer than a brother, who I can always count on, and will never, ever let me down.  Jesus has seen me through thick and thin and been with me in Indiana, England, and everywhere life has taken me.

     Earl mentioned in his last post about a life-changing word that we received the night of May 2nd and it actually involves both kinds of friends that I have mentioned.  I went to bed that evening still feeling a bit unsettled, my "what ifs?" still lingered deep within my heart even though I wanted to shut them down.  I just decided I need to trust God that He would put my fears to rest but that is not always easy to do!  I woke up in the middle of the night that night and as it was still dark thought I would look at my phone to see what time it was.  I think it was 4:00 in the morning or something like that but I more importantly I realised that a text had come after I had gone to bed.   The text was from a dear friend and it said something like this, "while I was praying for you the other I day, I felt God say, for all your whys and what ifs? there is always But God."

     That did it for me really, Jesus, my friend who sticks closer than a brother heard my words and worries of 'what ifs' and spoke to my friend who was able to encourage me.  Those words to me were and are really powerful and God has really cemented something in my heart.  As we have had other interesting twists and turns in life since the night of May 2nd I have always had in the back of my mind, no matter what Rebecca, remember But God!  He is here, He will get me through, He loves me and will help me.  As my mom always says at the end of every conversation, Praise the Lord!  He knows what we need right when we need it!

Owls, Monkey's, and the IOW - 2nd May

     My birthday had come and gone, including tickets to a Rend Collective concert, three CD's, a song book and tickets to the Owl and Monkey Haven on the Isle of Wight. We had never been to the IOW as it is known by, but have been told by many that it is beautiful. The many are right it is beautiful. The weather was priceless, the English channel was a majestic blue and the whole experience of the ferry crossing was exhilarating. On the drive to Portsmouth we had another one of 'those' conversations.
     On the A303 only about 10 minutes from home our talk about the idea that the adoption wasn't going to happen, at least not through the agency in America surfaced again. Obviously it was on our minds and it was not the way we expected this birthday trip to center around. Going away for our birthdays seem to bring out the deep-feelings within us. This time the question that we were verbalising was 'what if', what if we never got a call, what if we could use the system here, what if we are too old to adopt, what if this and what if that.

It's not easy to hold so many questions in tension with the rest of life, it's almost as though our concerns and questions were buried just below the surface. Being there we did not have to deal with them or see them, but in reality they are there. Exposing something in the light seems to make it managable whether it's addiction, financial trouble, or in our case uncertainty and worry. The talk proved to be another helpful time to dig deep into our the thoughts and emotions, but once arriving at the port we parked our convo for the day.
   

Our time on the IOW was so much fun, the owls and monkeys were fun-loving and interesting. The IOW did not disappoint as we drove around the isle and strolled along the promenade in a beach town. We eventually left for home in the early evening and later that night recieved one of those words from God that is like a marker, a little altar built as a reminder of what God said, never to be forgotten.