7th-9th November - A teacher's perspective, a dad's perspective

Myself and Rebecca were both teachers, and we absolutely loved it. There was loads of time spent with kids, teaching them how to read, add numbers, write sentences and learning about the world around them. They were glorious times, many years put in the classroom with loads of memories of students and teachers alike. As the leaders in the classroom we used to have parent/teacher evenings which were really insightful into 'why he does that' or 'why does she say that'. In those meetings we'd discuss how their child was learning and also behaving. It's amazing how often the abilities and behaviours of the child at school did not mirror the child at home according to the parents.

Sometimes it was a case of  'he never does that at home' or 'I can't believe she does that at school' the point is so much of what happens in a child's life happens at home. This seems really basic and obvious but as teachers we never saw what happened at home or what home was like. We were a couple who were around kids constantly but in the controlled sphere of the school not the freedom of the home. My how wonderful it is to see from the parental perspective. We have been making a couple of visits to local nurseries (preschools for Americans) and it is fascinating to ask questions, to observe behaviours of the kids and look through the lens of our daughter not the instructor who is over the whole room.

Being the parents means some really great things; we get to read books at home, lots of books and there are no assessments attached to them. We read the books because we want to, it's not part of the lesson plan or learning objectives.  If we want to break for a snack no troubles, it's our call. Usually by the time kids arrive at school they are already speaking if not writing and reading. We are so blessed to have our youngest just getting into the art of oration, so far she has mastered 'nice', 'up', 'no', and 'again'. Just that bit of vocabulary will get her a ways in life. Seeing that she added 3 out of 4 this week who knows what all will come out of her mouth in a month's time.

Take learning to walk for example, when kids get to school they are walking, in fact most have been striding for years at that point. Part of our first couple of months together has been the combined joy and struggle of our youngest learning to walk.

First it was cautious gliding from chair to chair and hoping to catch hold of something before falling over. Then it was on to no hands down the hallway, but still only crawl when outdoors. Before you knew it we were on to attempting the stairs (haven't mastered that yet) trying to run and freely walking, you name the surface it doesn't matter. These are treasured moments that as mom and dad we are experiencing, it is a whole new perspective.

Yesterday we were going through a book about numbers, how interesting it is to be on the ground floor of the language of mathematics. The realisation that 1 and 2 are brand new and not just a given, recoginising that 2 is more than 1 is a breakthrough in understanding. It seems elementary but it's actually learned sooner than elementary, it's something that is usually grasped in the home and we are happy to be there to be catching it all. As we carried on through the book the attention span wavered as the numbers 7,8,9 and so on were introduced.  For now we'll stick to 1,2,3 and allow the nursery workers and teachers to help with mastery of the others.We are so blessed to have this perspective now, and to think that we'll be looking at life through the eyes of the girls and us as parents for many, many years.

5th October - 'They're my people'

    'They're my people', they sure are! Out of the mouth of babes as they say.  The other day when we showed the girls a DVD of a church gathering and of our church family our oldest exclaimed after watching it 'they're my people'. Today was a highlight, a real monumental day for our family. At just a bit past ten we walked as a family into the hall where our Sunday morning church gathering was taking place. This is something that we have planned on doing a few weeks after having the girls, it's also something that we have hoped to do for years. In so many ways the girls being with Rebecca and I today at church was so much more than a family coming together to a meeting.

     It was about realised hopes and dreams, ones that we have carried for many years and the church family have carried with us for close to three  years. It's hard to believe that almost three years ago on a November morning where the meeting was given over to sharing thanksgiving that we 'broke' the news we were going to adopt. Little did we know that the news was more of an invitation to the church body to join our journey than just another announcement. We couldn't have predicted at the time how many ups and downs we'd walk through, but along the way they were there walking them with us.

  Seeing the smiles on their faces was priceless; whether that be as the girls met new people, saw some friends they have made, dug into the toybox with a plethora of new playing options or when they joined in the sung worship waving flags. Seeing the smiles on their faces was priceless, as our friends met our daughters, as they danced together, played together. The huge grins as our youngest came up to me and said daddy while I was preaching, then put her arms up to be held. I had a point to make and then ask the tables to discuss. It was great timing as we could then hang out a bit before going back into the story.
  
      Wouldn't you know it, I was once again preaching on Abraham, not the first time, and most certainly not the last. Speaking about how one of God's names is Jehovah Jireh meaning 'The Lord Will Provide'. Abraham knew this provision, he knew the promises of God, had waited and had seen the Lord come through time after time. This story was about how God provided the ram for a sacrifice after Abraham was willing to sacrifice his own son. Of course Abraham did not have to since God provided a ram instead, he knew all along that God would provide. Rebecca and I have experienced the provision of God time after time too, whether it be housing, finance or now the desire to adopt. The Bible speaks of putting the lonely in families, about family, having the little ones come unto Him. It is such a joy to see all of this happening before our very eyes. How exhilarating today to be holding our youngest as I carried on preaching from Genesis 22 until she was ready to move on and sit with somebody else.
  
     We so look forward to many great times with our church family singing, learning Bible stories, doing crafts and enjoying time together. What a blessing they have been to stand with us and now to enjoy the fruits of their prayer and support. The title for this entry comes from our oldest who after watching a DVD we created showing some of the people and what a Sunday morning meeting was like said to Rebecca 'they're my people'. She was right, whether she really knew what she was saying or not, they are her people, we are all God's people and are so happy to have such a great church family to be called to be part of and lead.

22nd Sept - Through Their Eyes

     Shared experiences is what really makes memories, we all have scores of memories from our past, how many of yours include only you? Sure we've all had special times on our own but most likely your fondest memories include other people too, whether that be family members, friends, co-workers etc...

     Memories are made when we share an experience, I was reminded of this yesterday when Rebecca and I were pushing our girls in side-by-side swings at a park in a town we were strolling through. She said, 'it's great to look through their eyes' that statement struck me. We have been to numerous towns, villages and cities and now with two little ones who we are either pushing, carrying, holding the hand of or attempting to corral going to these places is a whole new experience. Sure we have had a wonderful time together but for 17 years it was her and I, of course friends too but often on our own traversing through shops, getting a drink at a cafe, and visiting touristy sites. Now that has all changed.

     We still love popping into shops, having a browse around although much of what we see are ideas of what our oldest would like to have or what our youngest has picked up off a shop shelf and is now playing with in her buggy. If we are shopping for household goods its a brief glance as we swiftly move to the next aisle since the girls are quite uninterested in the colour of a basket or which brand of toothpaste we should get. Shopping has taken on a different perspective, one that is through their eyes, what might they like, which cartoon themed yoghurt would be best, what colour hair barettes, these are not an issue that we've faced before.

     It is really exciting to see through their eyes, practically everything is new. Whether that be the surprise of the rushing river yesterday along the path we walked or the numerous dogs we passed each one drawing a 'woof woof' from our youngest. Would I normally notice the difference in the speed of the water or the fact another dog trotted our way probably not, but yesterday I did. Would we take note of the colour of the leaves on the many trees as we stopped for a short snack. Would we stop for a short snack or just eat while we went? Would we take the time to gaze at the vegetation around us, for that matter would we even go on that walk, maybe not. We find ourselves heading to parks, on walks, watching children's DVD's, and building dog parks and cat houses out of duplo, to be honest they look the same to us but not them.

     Have you tried watching a film like Underdog or the Lady and Tramp with a three year old, they find 'scary' parts that wouldn't even make me flinch. They can see aspects of characters that we are invisible to us. Right now I'm looking over at our youngest who's trapesing around our front room with sunglasses on just because they were they to be picked up. All the while attempting with everything within her abilities to press any key on the computer. What does she see through her eyes? A darkened room surely, but also a room full of endless possibilities. Just to keep you abreast of what is going on she is now poking me in the eye with a Tombliboo (character from In the Night Garden), do you know how hard it is to type with a 17 month old cradled in your arms while she pokes you in the eye?

     Their eyes see much more than ours do, in our front room we see a huge pile of toys. What do they see, a never-ending well of playing with this and picking up that, dropping a plastic horse to pick up a book or a pretend stethoscope. One minute playing doctor, the next watching a DVD, then peekaboo and to finish off the five minutes an attempt at putting on a shoe. So much of what they see is new, it needs to be explored and handled. Imagine if we took time to explore what we saw around us, if I picked up the newspaper and made myself aware of the days news, or if I read that book I have been intending to read.

Speaking of new, each night we read a couple of stories followed by stories from our children's Bibles. All of the amazing stories from Adam and Eve, Abraham, Moses, Daniel to Jesus they are all new, from creation to the flood, Jonah in the whale to the Christmas story. What do they see in these stories? From the looks on their eyes wonderment and interest. I remember being a little boy and hearing the extraordinary stories read to me by my dad before bed or the miraculous stories of missionaries from the around the world at children's church. It's amazing how quickly children pick up on the stories of the Bible and the power of the gospel. What a treasure it is to finish off our days by praying together right before going to bed. I think that Rebecca and I are learning more about everything around us as we look through their eyes.

10th Sept - What I like about you

I know that the Romantics originally thought about what they liked, but I've been doing it too. What I like about you, that's a great thing to think about concerning anybody. Having that train of thought for our daughters, it's simply not a difficult task. A couple of weeks ago I wrote about a few of our favourite things, this time a different song parody, it's just some of the things we like about you...

seeing the concentration in your furled eyebrows during the relentless pursuit of connecting the clasp of a strap

hearing the invitation 'come out here daddy' to join the girls in the playhouse in the garden

your smiles

after mommy finishes praying when you ask me to pray before going to sleep

the creative imagination that we see brimming each day

how peacefully you lay down for an afternoon nap (at the same time which is great for us:)

just hanging out at the top of the slide at the park and shooting the breeze

the excitement when you've walked, up to 8 steps at a time

you love books, whether they be small, board, stories or info it's all interesting to you

the squeals of joy as we traversed through Peppa Pig World

there's way more that we could pen but ultimately

you are both

2nd September - A Little Window (Normal Life)

     To some normalcy might be boring, to others it is just what the doctor orders each day. One thing I've said to many people and we've said to ourselves was that we'll be finding a new normal, but we don't know what that will be. For those of you that really like lists, order and procedures then I predict you'll totally enjoy this entry. For those of you who are more abstract thinking, random and couldn't care less about the details of daily life than I'm afraid you might be bored, but I'll leave that up to you.
     Yesterday marked the fortnight anniversary of the girls being with us since the handover. In some respects it feels like time has flown by, but then we look and see it's only been 14 days. Family goes on, being a family is not just a getaway which ends or even a school year which seems long but is over by July. This is life, it's not a segue or a long-term babysitting job for a friend, this is life. This is our family, each day up and at 'em by around 6:30ish (hopefully not earlier than that:) and then hanging out a bit with either a short video, books, numerous stuffed toys then onto eating breakfast, getting dressed, maybe going out, certainly playing some more and then before you know it it's lunch time. Hard to believe that 6:30-12:00 can go so quickly, but the clock doesn't lie.

   Nap time, it's a win-win for all parties involved. The girls need it, we need it, not that I always take a nap but from time-to-time I do snooze at that point. It gives us a chance to take care of some phone calls, put out washing, tidy up the kitchen, eat our own lunch and most importantly recharge. That might be in the form of surfing the net, playing a game together, and simply hanging out. It does seem as though the clock lies during this time though, it does seem to fly by and before we know the girls have emerged from their afternoon slumber. Usually full of gusto, not always but often ready to tackle the world. This is the best time for our youngest to work on walking around the house and to work on wearing her glasses, as you can imagine being 17 months she is not a big fan of having something placed on her little face that she is not supposed to touch.

     We've settled into quite a consistent routine, I assume this is because we both understand the value of routine and having ways of doing things. I'm not convinced we'll be able to keep to these as stringent as we presently are but during this special time of bonding it is fabulous to have these procedures built into our lives. So after waking up there is often a snack, generally a trip to a local park, feed the ducks, drop into the shops, play some more whether that be indoors or outdoors. Somewhere in there Auntie Lizzie gets home from work and joins in the fun of whatever is going on at the time. Once 5:00 rolls around everyone starts getting antsy for dinner, requests for snacks, juice etc... heighten and table/food preparation kicks into full gear so that by 5:30 we're all seated at the table for a family meal together. This is an important aspect of our daily lives and even in the hustle and bustle of life we hope to keep this paramount in our house.

     Once dinner is over it's our family time watching a video on the big screen, for a couple of weeks it's been Paw Patrol, I'm sure that will change soon to some other hotshot cartoon but for now we enjoy an episode together. From there it's clean-up time, that might be the living room, front room or bedroom or all of the above. It depends on where, when and how many toys/books were dragged out from their respective box, basket or shelf. This time flies by and after getting upstairs the bubbly bath is already drawn and ready to jumped into. It must be a real treasure to relax in the bath right before each night, talk about winding down. After getting on night clothes on it's time for a story or two followed by a Bible story and praying together. From there goodnight kisses are given and both girls are safely tucked into their nest. What follows is a couple hours of adult time and solitude until 6:30 am the next morning rolls around.

     Our lives are not like they have been for the last umpteen years but as I told a friend this week I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm sure by the time some of you read this post our routines and timings will have changed but that's OK, people change, little ones grow up, they grow out of shoes and clothes and even start eating green stuff eventually. We're up for it all and look forward to many days together in the future, but we're definitely making memories and
savouring the moments of today. 

26th August - A few of my favourite things

It has been nearly a week since we've all been home, simply being home with no deadlines, meetings, places we have to be or things we need to do. While Julie Andrews has a few of her own favourite things, she's not the only one who's created a list.
Have a perusal of ours, this is just from a few days together as a family sorry it's not quite as sing songy as the original...

feeling the quiet breath in my ear as I carry our youngest downstairs first thing in the morning after she has woken up bright and cheerful

hearing 'woof woof'  in a slightly sinister voice when we see a dog whether it's the Butler Bulldog on my shirt or a picture in a book

reading books, so many books, two book baskets already with another on the way

the big smile after giving affirmation for a job well done

utter determination, seen again today in the striding across the room for the first time (6:15pm on the 25th August not that we were keeping record)

hearing 'daddy' and the pitter patter of feet coming my way

If there is a clasp or anything to clip, it will be clasped or clipped no matter how long the struggle may continue for, only the high chair has not been defeated

unexpected bliss of two napping girls in the middle of the day 

no fear in meeting animals whether that be Nooma day in and day out, or our visit with Oscar and Sushi

midday jaunts to the Co-op, it's only a three minute but fun to get out for at least a bit

realising that we said the other night 'the kids are upstairs sleeping' it's a small statement with huge significance

the interesting contents of our 'tea' created in the wendy house

becoming a big fan of Paw Patrol, my personal favourite is Zuma

bathtime followed by storytime followed by bedtime followed by our collective ahhhhh

I'm sure there will plenty of other things to add to our list but for now this will do. We are so thankful to the Lord each and every day for our girls and living together as a family. 

19th-20th August - The 'handover' is complete!

19th - Completeness is an accomplishment, we've all done it. You've no doubt had a daunting project, a looming deadline or a seemingly unclimbable mountain to ascend. That's a bit of what the adoption journey has felt like for with the last couple of weeks being the penultimate push to the summit. There is one more action to take to reach the pinnacle (a court celebration where they become Robinson's legally) but that is down the road a few months. For now we'll enjoy this view. This evening it is one from our home, while Rebecca and I sit downstairs on our computers for the first time in our house our girls sleep peacefully upstairs.

x2 in our case:)

That is weird to say as we've never said it before, never before have we been downstairs while precious ones sleep upstairs. The introductions have gone well and the last step of the introductions is the handover. This is essentially when the foster carers say goodbye, we all bundle in the car and drive home for good. That all happened this morning, today was not easy as you can imagine. There is much emotion tied up within everyone involved. There has been some crying, wimpering and general frustration. Is this unexpected? Not at all. This is not just a slight change, this is life change, change for good and for the good. The girls (we are withholding names and pics until court celebration) have had an amazing experience at their carers house and we have learned many valuable lessons from them over the last couple of weeks. It's now up to us, whether that be day to day actions like feeding, changing, bathing or long-term things like healthcare and going to school.

20th - Folgers coffee used to have the tagline 'the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup', I don't agree with that. As much as I might enjoy a cup of joe, the best of waking up today was not coffee in my cup but two little ones coming into our room. The youngest one who was crying when she awoke was brought in by Rebecca and then a minute later the older  crawled into our bed as well. What a way to wake up! This after a great night of rest, that's right they both slept all night in their new beds and new home on the first night ever sleeping here. I know I've said it before but it's the little things that are the most entertaining, whether it be sharing breakfast together, reading books or seeing the excitement on their little faces when we do something fun.

Because so much of what we have around here is new to them it is great finding creative activities and unread books which quickly become favourites in our library. We already have two book baskets going, we're both ex elementary teachers what can we say:) Today was also our first trip out, all the way to the park which is about a 1 minute walk as the crow flies just up the road from our house. We've wondered what will the new normal look and feel like, we're not sure and believe me we aren't there yet, and probably won't be for quite sometime. There is way too much new and exciting to find a definite pattern to each day, every one full of unique adventures and discoveries.

15th-16th August - Home again for the first time

fri. am - Home is where we dwell, it's a place of comfort, it's a place of known. How often do you walk into a building attempting to grasp where is a toilet, or what floor is the office on? In a shopping mall or amusement park it might even take a map to figure it all out, where the exits are and the shops you are most interested in finding.

At home that's not true, it's known, you don't have to familiarise yourself with the surroundings. Today we drive back home, except on this occasion it will be different. There will be a room that is a new colour, it will have newly hung blinds, pics on the wall, two little beds ready for little girls.

For us going back home is a welcome occasion, we've had an amazing time in introductions, getting to see and understand routines, trips to appointments, to the shops, and out for fun to the park and even an aquarium. For Rebecca and I the drive home will be a time to reflect upon this week and certainly to look forward to the coming days, months and years. It dawned on me again yesterday while driving that we weren't babysitting for friends of ours, sure that's fun to do but this is so totally different.

looking at the glass above the doors of the girls room, thanks Aunty Lizzie :)

fri. pm - Excitement to say the least hit us as we got closer to home, that final stretch seemed longer than normal somehow. Not only were we glad to get back to see Lizzie, Nooma, to unpack, catch our breath and we were also going to see the girls's bedroom. We had great reason to believe that it would be amazing, with Lizzie's, Louise's and Carol's talents all on display. Walking in the room was an experience to remember, seeing the decal of 1 Samuel 1:27 above the room, the multi-coloured painted hot air balloons and fluffy white clouds on the wall, along with bespoke fairy lights and bedding. It's a real dream-room for the girls to call their own and begin life here with us.

sat am. - Today has been all about last minute preparation. Whether it be putting a couple things in the loft, finding a home for this toy or that stuffed animal, putting up stair gates and safety locks on drawers. The home has been a hive of activity, all for two little lovely ladies. They are too are excited to be coming 'home' (they don't know it as home yet)

Imagine if you were going to a new home, one that was not known. If this was your third home this year, if you did not know the comforts where you presently live. For children in care they often are coming from difficult home situations where it doesn't feel like home, home is not where the heart is. In fact it is usually quite the opposite, it is a place of struggle, with bad or scary memories and associations. Home may not be seen as a place of comfort, fun and security, now imagine if you were coming into another new home.

sat pm. - Today they came home for the first time (cue tears), seeing their smiling faces when they recoginsed a toy or book was priceless. Hearing the excitement when they found a new toy or book. Again hearing and seeing the excitement as we all trailed upstairs to their room, their beds, their stuffed toys, their room in their home. They don't sleep here for a couple more nights, but soon enough a new home will be a new normal. Can't wait to see what the next couple of days has in store for us all, there will be no doubt be much more new whether that be the garden, park, nap time or bath time, Are we all blessed or what!

9th-12th August - If 3's company then 4's a crowd - More reflections from our introductions

There is more than a subtle difference between going to the park and avoiding the park. It's simple, but now we go the park, we play on the swings, ride down the slide, and generally run about. Another place that is off limits without kids are soft play areas, again they are now destinations not reasons for a detour. What fun the soft play area was, little tikes from wall to wall, no place to plop down with our stuff, myriads of noises from toys and kids alike. After a bit we caught our collective breaths and found a couple of spots at a table. Whether it was the ball pool, crawling gym, toddler toys, riding toys it was all a blast.

When it was time to pause for a drink the girls were just a bit shattered, they and we had played hard for over an hour, it was time for a break. It's weird to think that these places like the park and soft play area are ones that we'll seek out from now on, after many years of actively not finding out where they were.

Today it was another kid friendly space the farm. There were all sorts there; pigs, cows, rabbits and a huge play area. We enjoyed it all while dodging rain drops and attempting to navigate two push chairs, some of the time carrying one but you get the idea. To give a bit of perspective to our time of introductions they have been building slowly. From just a morning together for example up to today when we were there all day including the bed time routine. As you can imagine there is much to learn and a quick learning curve, but all is well, we are figuring out how to be four. 

Life is fun with 4, getting into two car seats, two buggies for a walk, two meals for them and food for us, it's all just a bit complicated. Yesterday we were in and out of the car repeatedly here and there then to and from appointments. It wasn't a day full of 'fun' stuff, but it was a day full of life. One memory that will stick in our minds was when we got in the car and our oldest one exclaimed 'follow that Spongebob daddy' that meant to follow the car ahead which had Spongebob sun shades on the back windows. Now whenever we get in the car that's what we do!

If you've followed along our journey at all you'll know that we have eagerly awaited these days, those first opportunities to build family and memories. That's what this week is all about, building trust, understanding, and memories with each other. 

7th -8th August - Starting Introductions

What would we feel today, what would we experience today? These were questions rolling around our minds as we went to an introduction meeting and then an hour later to meet the girls. This was a day that we've been looking forward to for nearly three years now, to say we lapped it up would be an understatement. How do you begin to explain what's it like walking into a house and there are two little girls eager to meet you, actually they are our daughters and we're mommy and daddy. (Still has to go through court hearing before totally official)

The first words we heard today as we eagerly opened the door were just that; mommy and daddy. I can't say that we expected that, maybe after a couple of days or a couple of hours but not the first words that we'd hear. I've attempted to reflect on those moments and take pictures in my mind so that they are not lost, ever. They are the type of moments that Kodak calls for, or the kind that Instagram or Snapchat tend to catch, but on this occasion it wasn't to be disrupted by the camera or mobile it was for our eyes and ears only. After all this time to be seated in the foster carers front room, interacting with the girls, playing with one while the other toddled around, or holding one while the other did a puzzle, it didn't matter what we did. Actually the younger one fell asleep on my lap, that was bliss just relaxing there together.

At some point we'll capture some pics and video, but for now we're relishing in the experience and taking mental pictures. We have literally just met them today for the first time and already see interesting traits, personality likenesses and have made memories from just an hour and half together. As I said to someone yesterday now that we have reached this point it is actually the beginning, and that means more memories that you can count on their way!

Well more memories were created today, as we walked through the door there they both were one with cheeky grin and the younger one waving and saying hiya. They understood who we were and that we had come to be with them, to play, interact and simply be. We were there for three hours, to be honest it felt like hardly more than a half-hour, it went so quickly. There was a bit of crying here and there, lots of laughter, a bit of reading, painting and playing peekaboo. It felt normal, that was one of our concerns and prayers, that we could be at the foster carers house and it would just be normal.

Often in life we are not looking for normal, it's either a let-down, or maybe even a failure if it's just 'normal'. Many times we think we need the optional extras, or as McDonalds made famous not just a meal but make a Supersize meal. Something without the bells and whistles might be looked down on, but for us right now its great to have it a regular feeling Thursday and Friday. We'll see what the rest of the weekend has in store, probably a visit to a soft play area, along with more time at the home. Then next week more adventures and memories will no doubt be made.

6th August - Tomorrow is just another day you'll never forget

Tomorrow is just another day you'll never forget was a tagline used by Apple when introducing iTunes or some other techy gadget (Actually turned out to be the Beatles available on iTunes). For us it is a strapline we could use for the 7th of August 2014, one of those days that will quickly rise to the top of important dates in our lives. We all have them, the dates that you don't forget, the ones you don't have to look up (or least not all that often), the vital ones that carry buckets of significance.

In Biblical times these days and events are the kind that were remembered by either feasting or building a stone altar. Either way they were set apart, they were celebrated and they were marked, there are still little groupings of stones which stand today built thousands of years ago. There are many examples from present day too, D-Day, the day that Kennedy was assassinated (Nov 22, 1963) 9/11, it doesn't really need more explanation than that. There are also dates that we all whether they be birthdays or wedding anniversaries to name two that immediately spring to mind. Yep the 3rd August 1996 in the Old Goshen Theatre is forever etched in our minds, in fact we just celebrated our 18th by going away for an evening. There are gala times for the 20th Jan and 14th April each year. For us there are a couple more which would probably make that list too.

The 22nd July of 2008 was one of those days, we had officially packed all our belongings in the US and headed off across the ocean to a little village in the south of England to help lead a small rural church. We did not know all that day held, but we knew that it was the beginning of a brand new chapter if not a whole new book altogether. Then along came the 17th Jan of 2010 when we 'took on'

the leadership of West Basingstoke Community Church, what a day surrounded by friends from all over the country and the overwhelming support of the local church. At that point we didn't know what it would feel like to plot the way forward, to have the buck stop here and to be the voice of the people. I'll never forget the feeling on the Monday morning walking down the stairs realising what had happened the previous day, a new authority and responsibility that can't really be explained.

The 15th of September 2011 is another one, not as exciting or life-changing as the others but important nonetheless. That is the day that we made the phone call looking into adoption, we were able to connect with an agency in America who we eventually worked through for over two years. We also were able to speak with the Embassy in this country to find out that we could use an American agency even though we were living here, what amazing news that was. Could we have predicted that close to three years later the culmination of many forms, meetings, trips here and there, emails, phone calls and prayer times would be taking place?

That is tomorrow, it is the pinnacle of the last three years, we set eyes on the girls tomorrow, we spend time with them tomorrow, we personally enter their lives tomorrow. Has it been a long road? You bet, has it been excruciating at times? Absolutely. Would we have rather been another couple who saw their dreams come true without much if any heartache? Maybe but we have a bit of understanding of walking through pain and difficult times, the kind that many other people do as well. We look at the scores of people we have walked with, the numerous ones we've been able to encourage and the times where many have been called to pray on our behalf and we've seen faith enacted before our very eyes. So the 7th of August 2014 is just another day that's true, but it's one that we'll never forget. 

29th July - The Now and Not Yet - A YES from Matching Panel

The above phrase was one that took a place in the lore of our Bible college year as numerous visiting speakers used this phrase when talking about the Bible. I had never heard of the 'now and not yet' until 7 years ago sitting in the Vale Room in Oxford. Essentially it is a way of looking at how the Bible explains the growth of the Kingdom of God throughout time. It is growing here on earth presently which is the now, but also recognising that there is much which has not happened yet, it will in time but not yet. While it is a great statement for the Kingdom of God it could take meaning for a wider variety of aspects of life too.

While driving back from our matching panel meeting this afternoon Rebecca and I were searching for the metaphor or phrase we'd use to describe today. That familiar one 'the now and not yet' sprang to mind. There is much we are processing daily, whether that be acquiring something for the girls bedroom, maybe it's car seats or some children's books. It feels like daily something is added to the temporary holding point of the front room where gifts and purchases are being stashed. Seemingly daily there are emails or some kind of communication with our agency or with a local authority pertaining to dates and details. There are the more than daily conversations we have together. There are updates to friends who we bump into in the village or seeing people at some type of church gathering. All of this is now, it is present, it is exciting and at times quite exhausting. It feels like we are preparing on speed, after only figuring out what we really needed less than a fortnight ago from today.

The meeting today was also 'now', it was another milestone on the journey that we have now passed. The matching panel gives their approval to perspective adopters after reading their information and the children's information along with an interview type meeting. Today we sat in front of a group of 12 people some on the panel and also some social workers. Unlike some interviews we had a list of the questions which we were going to be asked, being able to work through our possible answers ahead of time was really helpful. The whole morning went exactly as planned, there were no curve balls, there was nothing which surprised or frustrated us. Much like the last time we went to panel we felt the prayers of so many others with us in both the waiting room and the board room. We have now travelled past the matching panel on we go into the 'not yet'

There is no doubt that we are relishing the 'now', it's a special time of preparing. By no means do we want to just look to the next stage or the next important meeting but I have to admit we do. We all do, it's in the  'Not yet' is where life gets very interesting. Isn't it exhilarating to ponder what's next, where might I be in two years, five years, what about in retirement? While it is so important to live in the present it's also human nature to think about the 'not yet'.

The final question today was along the lines of what are hopes for the future of the girls? It was a special question, it wasn't only about how might we handle a situation, or what kind of support system do we have around us. It was a query with emotion attached, it was one that brought tears to both of our eyes as we answered. A question like that really deserves an extended time to think about before attempting to formulate an answer.

It's the kind of question that you discuss when lying outdoors at night staring at the stars or gazing at the cloud formations rolling by on a summer's day. I suppose it's a recipe of blue-sky thinking mixed in with expectations, a bit of planning, a whole lot of flexibility and more than a dash of prayer. I know enough about children that there aren't blueprints drawn up as to how they will develop and grow into who they are. There are not formulas which can simply be plugged in and then your child/children will be what you planned or expected. I think that the excitement will be in watching them figure that out, seeing them be creative, trying new things, sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing but growing into who they are through it all. That's the hope, that they will grow into who they are meant to be.

24th July - Showers of Blessing

     We turned up in the UK 6 years ago yesterday, to say we are blessed would be an understatement. It is amazing when you look around our home here in Overton, you can count on your fingers the household items that we actually bought. The amount of man hours that have been accumulated in helping us move house 3 times, in helping with DIY projects is quite staggering too. We have been on the other end of generous monetary gifts as well throughout our time whether it has been to help with travel expenses, everyday expenses or to take a special holiday. They say that April is a month of showers and while true, I think that July showers are quite awesome (American word for ya'll) too.

     Allow me to explain, last night I went out to my friends to play Dominion while Rebecca had a special evening, the kind that whole photo albums are dedicated toward. Some friends from our church spearheaded by Jo put on a baby shower for her, it was held at the hall where we gather for our church meetings. How many times has she gone out the door for someone else's baby shower, I'm not sure but it's been quite a few. It was very exhilirating seeing the excitement on her face as she came down the stairs in her beautiful dress ready to go to her baby shower!

     There was a large group of women who came along to join in the festivities, I was told that they played some fun games, enjoyed food together and watched as Rebecca unraveled the gifts from paper and gift bags. Last week we were blessed to be given some practical gifts from friends in the village, then we bought a buggy, have been looking at beds and other practicals. The shower gifts weren't practical they were toys; musical, bath, cooking, dress up, a paddling pool, art easel, DVDs, CDs, books, the kind of stuff that is downright fun to open up and play with ourselves. We have had basically no toys in this house till now, soon there will be misplaced duplo blocks, little doll dresses, a favourite book and the like, a bit searching for lost items sounds like fun to me.

     The prep is going swimmingly as we carry on getting the bedroom and front room ready. This past week we were blessed with a gift from the church and in the card it mentioned a 'wendy house'. I was not familiar with the term, for those of you that aren't it is a playhouse, not so much a little plastic one but a proper wooden building like a small shed. We researched a bit, with the help of Lizzie found a great spot in the garden and actually bought it on Monday on the spot. By Tuesday there was already a group of guys from the church who have agreed to collect it, even the ground and build the wendy house. We have so enjoyed the showering of the giving, care and joy of so many friends around us, yup the showers of July are a real blessing.

The Great Adventure

Strolling through our village the other day for some reason I was reminded an art print we had once that was signed by famous Christian music artist Steven Curtis Chapman. It was a vividly coloured desert like scene with a horse that was front legs up just raring to race towards the distant mountains. What that horse was headed for was 'The Great Adventure' as the album and picture were called. Our lives have never been labeled 'The Great Adventure' but we certainly have had some along the way. We now enter into the final stages of our adoption process, probably feeling a bit like the horse who was so ready to be released into the wild, able to gallop and run freely in the open air.

The day that we received the news of being officially linked with two little girls for adoption we were in a prayer meeting with a bunch of other church leaders. Sometimes when people pray for each other they see a picture/object that relates to the person who they are praying for at the time. This happened to us as one of the ladies who prayed for us said that she saw a hot air balloon which had been flying around, being blown here and there by the wind. That balloon was now going to come to rest on the ground and at that point we could exit the balloon. Once safely on the ground we could then get on with the next part of life, her picture spoke of farming (we're not buying a farm or even planting anything for that matter) and we would see fruit in our lives. Again much like the horse itching to go, so we too are ready for this next part of the journey. This meant so much to us as we certainly had felt blown around by this process, then more a clear descending toward the ground and now about ready for touchdown and the safety of the ground. 

This week we have opportuntiy to meet a number of people who have been in the girls lives, it is called a life appreciation day. We certainly appreciate it, a chance to ask questions, hear stories, gather information, and hopefully see some more pictures. There are a myriad of questions we have, many are practical as we are attempting to prepare a bedroom, and setup another area of the house that will be a real child zone. What do they already have? What all do we need to buy? We really look forward to meeting these significant people, and to having some of questions answered. 

As you can imagine we are totally stoked, this is our first trip to the local authority where the girls are presently and we'll be making another one later this month for the matching panel meeting. We also have another jaunt in August which is planned as well. The meetings, emails, phone conversations they are all part of the great adventure, one that we have been so blessed embark upon over the last few years. If you have the time enjoy a listen to a blast from the past with 'The Great Adventure' by Steven Curtis Chapman.

C'mon let's celebrate! - Tuesday 17th June

There are so many reasons to celebrate in life and in our lives specifically but firstly we want to celebrate our Lord and Saviour Jesus who has walked with us through all the ups and downs of adoption. In the Bible in Psalm 68:6 it says that God sets the lonely in families and later in the Bible it reads that we are adopted sons/daughters of the Lord, what a great family to belong to!

     While we have carried some deflating news at times through this process, Monday the 16th at 11:10 the phone call was anything but deflating. We've had other phone calls, way back in Feb 2013 when we heard we could do a Skype interview with the American agency, to our call with the agency here in the UK. There was also the elation of the approval call that we had eagerly desired for close to a month. They were exciting and encouraging, but still only a signpost on this twisting and turning road. The call on Monday morning was more than just a signpost it was more like a convergence onto a new roadway, it was to state that we have been officially linked for an adoption. You are probably interested in some details, here are some to whet the appetite...

     We have been linked with two little girls aged 1 and 3 who are from the northern part of England. We have always been interested adopting two and after looking at many profiles, having oodles of emails back and forth with our wonderful agency we are so excited to be linked with these two little girls. There is much to do before the adoption takes place. We have a trip there in mid- July to meet people in their lives, another trip in late July for a matching panel meeting. At that meeting it is determined by a panel of professionals and adopters if we are in fact the right mom and dad for these two. Provided that the panel approves us and the decision is ratified then after another couple of weeks we then proceed back there to be introduced to the girls, stay near the foster home and be around more and more until eventually bringing them back to our home in Overton in the late summer.

If you are interested in reading the story of the last Thursday the day of our meeting with the local authority social workers feel free to carry on reading. Once again thanks for supporting us by keeping up with our story, if this is your first read then please go back to earlier entries to catch more of the story.

Thursday 12th June:
This entry will be in parts, the first is what if feels like today here at home as we await the arrival of our social worker and two social workers from the local authority of the children we are hoping to adopt. Anticipation is a word that I have written about before and once again that term has taken centre stage, interestingly though the meeting this time in our house. We have the opportunity to be the hosts, to put on the lunch for all to enjoy, to set the tone of comfort as opposed to a clinical, whitewashed waiting room in an office with no character. This is right up our street, showing hospitality, cooking, baking and opening up our home. It has been said that highest form of hospitality is adopting, to literally welcome people you don't know into your family and home 24/7 not just for a day or two.

We don't know what the outcome of today's meeting will be, we hope and pray for a green light moving forward to the next stage, that is in God's hands. As I was reading today I came across this passage from Psalms 40, I've read that scripture quite often but have not seen verses 4-5 like I did this morning... Blessed is the one  who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud to those who turn aside to false gods.^[b]5 Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done,
    the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare.

Later today we found ourselves reflecting upon the meeting and the whole day. It was relaxed, it was a time to be hospitable and have honest discussion. Throughout the day we really felt peaceful, whether that be the final prep of the house, playing a game while we waited or the actual meeting. There was a sense of calm, the weather was gorgeous and everything went like clock work.
During the meeting we asked some questions and the social workers asked us some questions, none was a surprise to us. They already knew a great deal about us, this was more confirmation than new information and the helpful tool of putting a face with a name, or in our case faces with names. So what about now? that is the question that we ask ourselves, it is another space of waiting, albeit not as harried or long as other interim periods.We do plan on hearing some news on Monday, again hoping for, praying and expecting, but until the mobile rings...

Sometimes You Can't Make it on Your Own, - June 4th

     What is the church? If I had a nickel for everytime I heard that question asked I could probably buy a latte or smoothie, essentially I've been heard that question or topic discussed many a time. Being a church leader it is very pertinent to my life and it is a point of conversation that arises and is a subject matter in most books that I pick up. There are many clever descriptions and definitions out there and I think I should put my hat into the ring with my own.

     The church is a Christ centered group of people, they are friends, they are family, the church are the ones who are there when you can't make it on your own. I have always thought that to be true but never more than recently. If you are part of The Community Church (West) then you are the ones that I'm writing about, some of our friends and family here in the UK. As you are probably aware Rebecca and I moved to the village of Overton in Hampshire in the late summer of 2008. At that point we left Goshen and our friends and family, along with other family and friends across other parts of the US. We turned up in this place without many friends and with no family. That was late summer of 2008 almost 6 years ago now (my how time flies).

     Over the course of living here and having the great opportunity to lead the church we have developed many deep friendships, we have truly found friends and family. During this adoption process there have been many ups and downs and the church has been there in the ups and downs. They have been cheerleaders when that was required, they have been prayer warriors, they have been shoulders to cry on and people with whom we have shared a special celebration meal. They have been all of these aspects of support along with daily lifting us up in prayer and gently asking how is it going. Not demanding answers, not being intrusive, rather interested, keen to know how we are doing as much as the 'latest news'.

     How does that make us feel? Immeasurably blessed, just a few years ago we were a couple of Americans who they decided to invite and bring across the ocean so that we could walk with them and eventually lead. A gamble sure, they did not know how we would cope with the cultural changes (there are many, too many to list in a simply blog entry) how we would handle living in the centre of a village and all of the village quirks (again too much for one blog entry). I've never thought of us as risk-takers but moving here was risk and with high risk comes high reward.

     The song Sometimes You Can't Make it on Your Own came on my Ipod yesterday while I was at the gym and the realisation of those lyrics to the title rung true in my head. I totally know that we can't make it on our own without Jesus as Saviour and the Holy Spirit leading and guiding, but I also know that we can't without others too. I have heard the term church-goer used before, I don't like or use it because we are the church, the people are the church community, we don't just 'go', we are.

      If you are a reader of this blog and not part of a church community can I encourage you to investigate a people, a church community that you can plug into.

Sometimes You Can't Make it on Your Own by U2 written by Bono for his father's funeral

Waiting for take-off - 20th May

     They say the best things in life are worth waiting for, if this is accurate then we have quite a cupboard full of best things. It feels as though we have had many opportunties to wait (I totally recognise that almost everyone does and could pen a blog about their life situations), whether that be for a sign-off on paperwork, the visa application which was at a stand-still or for the right house to be available to be able to move to. So when we found out that we'd be waiting for our meeting with visiting social workers for about a month longer than originally expected we were both gutted and prepared at the same time.

     Last week we broke the great news that we are being visited by social workers of a sibling group. This is going to happen but it is going to be in mid-June rather than this week. We found out the news on an email whilst waiting to check out from ASDA just after we'd created a to do list for the visit this week. Was it difficult? Yes. Did we see some real positives? Yes, firstly our social worker can be present at the meeting, we have more time to prepare, we are able to do the requested date so no diary shuffling is needed.

TBH having that meeting this week would have been extremely quick, maybe we are used to moving at a snail's pace, but when I looked back at my prayer journal from last Tuesday morning the sibling's we are interested in weren't even in my journal. That was only a week ago, goes to show how fast aspects of this process can move.


     We'll keep you all up to date with the proceedings, although there may not be much to say as we are back in a holding pattern.  It feels like we are on the tarmac and have been told that we can taxi to the runway for take-off but must wait for clearance from the tower before rolling down the runway and lifting off. To take the analogy further the engines are humming, the tray-tables are up, all baggage is safely stowed in over head cabins, seat belts are on and we are simply awaiting the roar of the engine as it picks up enough ground speed to hit the air. If you've flown you know the anticipation and excitement that hits when the plane takes that turn, there is no other plane ahead and thrust of the machine puts you straight back in your seat. We are in that anticipating position.

We are expecting a visitor :) - May 15th

If you can picture it I was at the gym working out on the elyptical  machine, about halfway through my warmup exercise, and then a tap on the shoulder. It took me by surprise as I had headphones in and was rockin out to some tunes while running along. Anyway it was an employee asking if I was Earl and if so that I had a phone call waiting at the front desk. Now if you have ever had this type of call you'll  know it is one of two things - 1. Amazing news that simply could not wait or 2. Awful news that simply could not wait. Which was this rolled through my mind as I left the machine and quickly made my way to the front desk downstairs.

I knew that it was Rebecca and from the tone of her voice I'd know the answer as to whether this was 1. or 2. It didn't take Sherlock to figure out it was AMAZING NEWS, the kind that you do stop, thank the Lord, scream it from the mountaintops and then attempt to take it all in.

On Monday we were sent yet another profile, we have had more than we probably expected, and have been interested in a quite a few. As I told some friends only one of the profiles will be describing our future child or children. While they all tug at our heartstrings we can't adopt all of them, in fact only one or two at the most. One of the profiles of a sibling pair late on Monday did pique our interest and as protocol we emailed our contact at the agency to ask for more information (a CPR which is the detailed report about the child/children) The CPR's don't always come back quickly, some we have asked for we've never seen in our inbox, this is most likely because the social worker is unavailable or that child/children is already matched to another waiting adopter.

Well this requested CPR did come back, on Tuesday it was in our possession, it came in the evening so I took advantage of having a free night (my meeting was cancelled) and we sat down to dig into another detailed profile. After finishing reading and talking about it an hour and a half later we thought that we;d ask to have this go to the next step. The next step is stating that we would like to have our names put forward as a potential matching couple. At this point it is again out of our hands, our agency worker attempts to contact the social worker and let them know of our interest. Now we have gone this far with two other profiles and both times it came back that the social worker did not choose to see us.

This is where yesterday's phone call comes into play, at 12:15 an email came through stating that the social worker would like to meet with us, and if it works can that be next week. TBH these things do not usually move that fast, but it works for us and them, so it's on. If you are somone who prays and lifts us up please do as we have the opportunity to sit down and ask questions, share about ourselves, our hopes/dreams and see if there is a link and connection. Watch this space, when there is more news you'll be aware:) 

Check out this beautiful song called 'Waiting Here for You' it is one that has really spoken to my heart, I love to play it with the youth worship band.

Like Christmas Morning? Not at all - 4th May

     Having the crossed the undaunting finish line of approval we have quickly moved into the next phase of the adoption process, matching. The matching process is really interesting, in some respects it reminds me of Christmas morning or when the postman delivers a package which is a gift from somebody. On Christmas morning there are gifts there, you know that they are for you, the job that remains is to open and enjoy. Some gifts are fun, others are helpful, some need to be returned, some may not be your taste, and there are gifts that are just right. You can probably remember opening up one of those heart-felt gifts that means so much or what you have been desiring greatly but would not purchase for yourself.

     Why is the matching process a bit like this? For about 8 days out of the last 9 business days we have opened up at least one email that has a profile of children who are waiting to be adopted. This means that they are on the national register and our agency has access to their files and contact details of the social workers/local agencies who are responsible for the children. We get emails with names in the title, at that moment Rebecca and I are like 'do we have time now to open it up, should we wait till later' or if we are not together we might open it up on separate computers and talk over the phone. Getting potential life-changing emails like these is extremely exciting, the children being presented to us, the cute pictures, the often distrurbing life-stories which the little lives carry.
     It is near impossible to wait to open up the document, then to open up the attachment, and then to write back to the agency with our thoughts. It's a bit like opening up a present, except for one huge difference.
 

This quote by a young lady living in Uganda who is/has adopted at least 12 children maybe more by now

These are children, these aren't toys, clothing or the latest kitchen appliance. They are kids, they are alive, if they are old enough they are desiring a home to call home for life. It's not just another email, it is worthy of careful consideration, time-taking word-by-word reading, it's possibly our future written and seen before our eyes. So I suppose it's not like just another package or even the most thoughtful, loving, specially wrapped Christmas present, those emails are much more than that. They are profiles, a small usually undetailed window into a child or children who are looking for their own Christmas present or surprise parcel through the post... a loving life-long family.

The Next Steps - 28th April

     Well if you have been following along our journey you'll know that about a week and a half ago we had one of those days. The kind of day that you remember, you mark it in your mind and by celebrating. We did on Thursday the 17th April at 4:17 by firstly jumping up and down, a couple of tears of joy and quickly planning a get together that evening at the RedFort (our favourite Indian restaurant, a one minute walk from our house) and driving to friends houses to alert them in person. We had been approved, the wait to reach that exit was over, now it was on to the next steps. We've had many questions tossed our way, what are the next steps? what do you do now? when does a child come to you? do you get one from the hospital? and on and on the questions have come. I'll attempt to give an overview, we'll see how it goes...

     Our agency has contact with local authorities all across the UK, and have access to the children who are in care and waiting for an adoptive family. Almost all of these children are in foster families, some since they were newly born and others at an older age after they were removed from their homes. Rebecca and I have been approved to adopt either 1 or 2 children up to the age of five. This means that we are eligible to adopt a sibling pair, twins or one child provided they are under the age of five.

     Essentially what happens is that we receive profiles of waiting children from our agency through email. There is a person at the agency who is a family finder and she connects waiting children profiles with people like us who are approved to adopt. These are usually short 2-4 page intros including a picture, some family background, a few thoughts from their social worker and the child's likes/dislikes. Sometimes we get a full report on a child/children which includes all the family background, names of people involved in their life/lives, reasons for removal from the home, hopes and wishes of the parents and much more detail. These can be exhausting to read through, but they are very useful in deciding if a child/children is potentially a right fit for our family.

     It is very weird to look through profiles of children, and to declare to ourselves and the agency that we cannot pursue them any further. By pursuing I mean that we ask for more information, we state that we are interested in our social worker making contact or of us being contacted, or of being shortlisted. If we are short-listed on a child/children then a date of meeting their social worker would be decided upon, and a visit to our home would take place.

     We have already said no to a couple of profiles, for various reasons we knew that we could not go further with the waiting children. We are certain that the right one/ones are out there though. We have not traveled this far in the process to rush things or to get frustrated, this is part of the excitement, just very different from the American process where we would be waiting to be chosen, now we are somewhat doing the choosing. We will continue to blog about this process realising that some of the information is confidential and we'll need to be quite vague at times, not using proper names, locations etc... until there are formal and certain aspects of the process in place. Thank you so much for standing with us and encouraging us up to this point, there is more to come and we so look forward to it all!

April - Back Story up till approval - April 23rd

Below is the blog entries through the first part of April, written in real time as to what we were thinking/feeling at the time, happy reading...

 

8^th April – God’s Timing

When somebody is coming up to significant birthday milestones like 40 for example taking stock in life is quite a normal activity. I have to say that I've been doing that, but in the midst of a coming party on Saturday, celebrations on Monday and getting cards from people a dark shadow continues to hang. As of this writing we are still unclear of our status as adopting parents. We have not been given the go-ahead, the agency has not asked for anything more which would indicate that they have all they need to make decisions. This is both comforting and concerning, if they do in fact have it all then why the delay? If they don't have everything then what else will be inquired about, what other forms may we have to produce.

            Unfortunately too often when times are difficult the response of well-wishing people (usually Christians) comes across as trite. This happens all the time at funerals and when really rough news about a person's health or financial situation comes into the light. Often it is said 'it's God's timing' or 'He works everything out for good' and while these are true that doesn't mean that they are easy to stomach. Again we have to remind ourselves that we are waiting on the news of a loved son in the military who has gone MIA or to find out if the delicate brain surgery was successful or not. We recognise it is not a life and death situation that we wait on tenderhooks for, but that does not mean that swallowing the pill of 'It's God's timing, and His is always best' is very easy accomplish.
            Of course our thinking could change, and very dramatically in a short space of time once we get that important phone call. Until then the protocol is to keep the mobile handy, have it charged and always turned on, even sound not just on vibrate mode.

10^th April – Did you send that Email?

I don't remember the first time I sent or received an email I suppose it was 11 years ago when my account at hotmail was set up with ETPR29 as the name, my nickname given by the youth group guys ETP followed by my age. My  how much has changed, now nary a couple of hours go by without an email coming in or being sent out. How often is an email recieved with an expectation of a response immediately or at least within the day. Long live the days of the letter where it traveled to it's destination or even the phone call now it's all pinged off on an email (or message, twitter etc...) It is all so immediate and instant.

How ironic with the waiting game that we've been playing that it seems like what we are waiting on now is an email. A person at the agency to send another person at the agency an email, once that little piece of communication takes place we can move forward to the final step of our approval process. It feels like it's been months since our panel meeting, actually it has been 3 weeks. At times we've been really relaxed like last week when we knew that the holiday of one of the contacts superceded our process. Or even the first couple of days when we simply did not expect a quick response.

This week has not been as easy, more or less with mobiles pinned to our hips waiting for the ring-tone to go off with the agency on the other end of the line. That's the way yesterday was, in town all day, hoping that I hadn't missed the call with all the sounds of the shopping district and traffic. As a result checking the mobile incessantly usually to find an email that had come in but not a missed call.Today we actually made a call rather than waiting on one, it was exceedingly helpful, even if only for our own psyche. We'll see about tomorrow or even later today, maybe a phone call or an email will arrive in the inbox. 

11^th April – Is Today the Day?

You probably remember asking that question as a little kid when you were excited about going on vacation or a visit from family members. 'Is today the day we go, or when they arrive?' it's frought with anticipation but also the unsurety of the happenings of the day. That's us, we are in that same place as most 4 year olds before the car is packed and the journey begins. We have had some marginally good news yesterday, we have been promised a phone call today, but not sure what will be said on the other end. We have reason to believe that our approval will be granted, and that it might be today, but we can't be for sure.

There isn't much we can be sure of, Ben Franklin famously said there are two things you can count on... death and taxes. He's mostly right you can count on those but I think there are more than that, one is the love of the Lord Jesus Christ throughout all of life's ups and downs and another one of those is change. Change is always happening around us and to us, maybe I'm thinking this way as I encroach further on being 40, being 'over the hill' as they say. It used to be life began after 40, now it's life begins after 60, if that's the case I'm still a toddler.

Rebecca and I have had our fair share of change, I suppose all married couples do, we've moved house, found new jobs, gone back to Uni, sold our possessions, moved to a new continent, gone to Bible school, lived with various people, started a new profession here, on and on it goes. We've been told that were good at change, whatever that means i'm not sure. That we can adapt and do it quickly, again that is probably a really helpful skill, but I might not want to use it as often as I do:) 

12^th April – Bordering on the Absurd

Yesterday near the end of another day which brought us no further news, I uttered a statement that our situation was getting absurd and that it means there must be a much greater reason for our waiting. In essence we are waiting on an email, it's already been agreed, it's been requested three times but with still no answer. Can we understand this? Nope, do we usually respond to emails immediately? Yup. Does that change our situation presently how we do things, it doesn't unfortunately. We have some really trustworthy and great people working on our behalf, some real advocates who are fighting our corner. As I sit here thinking about Palm Sunday tomorrow it does seem absurd but so did the Saviour of the world riding into Jerusalem aboard a lowly donkey not a war horse, coming in as a meager peasant would not a conquering hero adorned with medals. There are examples of absurdity all throughout the Bible, God has a way of using the absurd to get across the point of his power and plan, we're blessed to be part of that in our situation.

14^th April – Anticipation for Who Knows What

There are not that many days when you roll out of bed after a night of slumber and have no clue what the next day holds. It is a rarity in our society of intricately planned out diaries to have space, let alone a whole day where you don't know what will be taking place. For those of you who don't know today is my 40th birthday and along with the unknown of what the 40's will bring there is the immediacy of 'What does Rebecca have up her sleeve?' We both are quite good at planning special birthdays for each other, usually secrets even though we share an email account we find ways to plan in secret.

     Anticipation and reflection have been something I've been doing alot of lately. Last night Lizzie asked me what were three events over the last decade that sprung to mind. If you have not tried choosing just three events from a decade have a go, it's not that easy. It was really helpful to think back through and try to determine which ones had the most impact or the vivid memory. In addition to reflecting there is also the anticipating that comes along with a birthday and on this occasion a special one with a '0'.
      It feels like Rebecca and I are consistently waiting, another perspective could be that it is anticipating. Is that a lighter spin on waiting?  Does aticipating rather than frustratingly waiting take away the life-lessons of patience and long-suffering? In jobs past I have been accused of being overly positive, is that really a bad thing? I suppose looking at the glass half full, the silver lining is my m/o.. Along with that look at life comes the joy of anticipating, recognising that there is great stuff on the way, fun times, special occasions with special people.

      Of course with all the waiting that we've been doing with the adoption process (31 months from start time in Sept 2011) we have also had plenty of time to anticipate. We can't really plan but that is different from the excitment of anticipating what might be, how many children will we adopt, boy or girl, age of the child or children so much to look forward to. That is where we are presently in a space of looking forward and seeing what the next day brings us.

14^th April – Tomorrow, Tomorrow

I'm not a big fan of the musical Annie, I love musicals but for some reason have never gotten into that one. Surprising since it is the story of a little orphan girl who is taken in and finds a new life, but I haven't I really like others like Les Mis, Billy Elliot and Wicked to name a few. Anyway the song Tomorrow from Annie is incredibly well known and even I know that one, the promise of tomorrow only being a day away. That is where we find ourselves now in the adoption marathon, tomorrow looks to be the day of the decision. Will we be fully approved and moving on to the next stage of seeing profiles of children waiting to be adopted? It looks promising that tomorrow the siutation will be reached.

     We have learned long ago that depending on dates as promises is a foolhardy action, but that does not mean we can't be excited. There is always that possibility that the meeting doesn't happen or the right person happened to be out of the office, again all out of our control. What we can control is the ability to pray, to put our hope in the Lord Jesus and to continue riding this crazy rollercoaster of getting through the adoption process. Does it make sense to put many hopes and dreams on one day, probably not in the course of a life it is a very small amount, but wow does it feel long when you're awaiting a decision. I've been in that place before, you've probably been in that place before of knowing you gave a good interview but will you be chosen for the job? It can be so difficult to let the hours slip by, but what other choice is there? So tomorrow, tomorrow you're only a day away!