15th December - Joy to the World?

     Friday night was another time of singing carols like Joy to the World, this time it was at Festival Place outside of Starbucks here  in Basingstoke. A time to sing of the joys of Christmas and the excitement that comes along with the season. There have been many other times of singing carols as well whether it's at home along with Spotify, in the village square, around a neighbourhood, or during carol services as well. Many of the carols that we sing are about joy, gladness, being merry, hosanna in excelsis. Not all carols though deal only with joy, some deal with the despair felt before the King comes, the yearning for God to be with us like O Come O Come Emmanuel. Check out the striking words of the third verse of It Came Upon a Midnight Clear as they read: (Listen to version by Sixpence None the Richer below)

Yet with the woes of sin and strife

The world has suffered long;

Beneath the angel strain have rolled

Two thousand years of wrong

And man, at war with man, hears not

The love song which they bring;

O hush the noise, ye men of strife, 

And hear the angels sing

     Those lyrics don't paint the rosiest picture, woes, sin, strife, wrong, war that's all quite accurate to our world today. After arriving home buzzing from the evening of proclaiming the King in the open air I went to facebook and post after post wrote about a tragedy, people saying 'how could this happen' and once again it was either another shooting or bombing that had taken place. Very quickly joy turned to sadness, and of course confusion of 'why?. The Sandy Hook shooting was a different level for me, I remember so fondly having a classroom full of kids and putting myself in that situation of a gunmen running rampant around them sends a shiver up the spine. I think of my Mom who has taught little ones for 40 years or so and the horror of that situation if it were to happen at ECA. I thought of Rebecca and what it would be like at West Side if a shooter was roaming the halls, certainly not a joyous time. 

     Yesterday morning was such an interesting and eye-opening time as we handed out mince pies from the churches together in Overton outside of the Co-op grocery store and sang carols in the square. For those of you who don't know what mince pies they are little cakes with a spiced fruit filling and we put them in a bag along with an attractive card from the churches. It was so weird to say 'happy Christmas' to the shoppers leaving the store and sometimes getting the response of head down, no or simply no response at all. Personally I would think if it is being given away free almost all if not all would want to take them. It is the most wonderful time of the year, we are giving away a free piece of pie with no strings attached and often we were met with a frosty reception. It reminded me of the other day when I was handing out Christmas cards door to door on behalf of the churches and a guy came out from his back garden reached through the gate and moaned Merry Christmas back to me with all the vigour of a turtle told he'd have to run a 5K. 

     Why am I writing about this and in some respects making a deal? It's because in our lives there is a juxtaposition of joy and sadness that we deal with daily. During this season of Christmas it is not hard to find much joy, and on the other hand it is not difficult to find sorrow and sadness also. The highs of singing in the mall vs. the lows of the news of the Connecticut shooting, the highs of friends/family around the tree with presents and the lows of knowing there are so many who don't have those memorable times of Christmas morning. All of this has brought me to our adoption process and the joy/sadness, ups/downs that exist together in tension.
     For us there have been many ups, including the excitement of last February, the news of being approved, getting a gift of cash, the little chats that Rebecca and I have had throughout the year that nobody else has heard. In contrast there are lows, finding out that we were not chosen while in Indiana, not having any more news to dispell to people, essentitally not being chosen yet. It has gotten harder as the year has gone on, continuing to have to share with people that we don't have any news (for us that is reality and we are ok with it) for some hearing it they feel bad for us and assume that we are in bad place. That is not the case, we are in a waiting pattern, we're not the first and we'll not be the last. Not unlike the people whose cry was O Come O Come Emmanuel, they waited 400 years for a Messiah, as written before on this blog Abraham waited 25 years until Jacob came along. We carry on living with adoption on our hearts but not on our minds and remembering that the best things come to those who wait.

November 1st - Life is Beautiful

      These past couple of days have been interesting ones, it has been half-term so not as much going on around here. Sometimes it seems so busy with seeing people, meetings, study, other stuff that takes up space and time that it would seem almost impossible to have little ones running around. Other times like these last two days it would seem like the norm, like the way it should be. If you are a loyal reader of this blog you'll know that we continue to wait for our opportunity to have the little ones running around. Is waiting tough? Yes.  Are we in a place of peace? Yes. Do we so desire adopting? Yes, interesting that while I was sitting here Rebecca exclaimed that it is National Adoption month, isnt' that great there is such a thing.
     We went through the process of applying for a grant to cover some of the cost of the adoption, finding ones that we can actually apply for and meet the criterion is a job in itself. There is much help out there for families but most are for overseas adoption, or for special needs situations. Anyway we did apply and received the news today that we were not given any help by the organization, there are simply too many applicants and not enough money. Isn't that wonderful there are too many applications to wade through, unfortunatley there is not enough finance for each one. Compare that with a stat that Rebecca read the other day which said there were 60 newborn to 1 year olds adopted in the whole of the UK in 2011. Drink that in, that's 60 adopted in a country of nearly 70 million people. Last year in the UK 189,000+ abortions were carried out, while 60 adoptions of newborns to 1 year olds took place. Our fabulous agency in Indiana may have 10 in one month. That's one agency in one state in one month. Doesn't seem the same problem of too many applicants looking for help lies here. Actually they're certainly many wonderful families who would love to adopt, we know some ourselves. Their stories tend to revolve around difficulty within the system and a general lack of any expediency on the part of the system. Either side of the pond there are walls to climb over and roads to walk.
    As I sit here on my couch typing I am listening to the soundtrack to the film October Baby. If you have not heard of the movie is it based on two real- life situations where babies who were supposed to be aborted were actually born. While the movie is not a blockbuster, has it's flaws and is somewhat predictable it does tell and show the story of the power of life. Hannah the college freshman who was not supposed to be has much to offer, she is very talented and carries so much possibility within her. She has been brought up without knowing her past, and when she finds out some of the truth it rocks her. She has not been raised in an open adoption, rather it has been very closed to the point where she does not really know who she is. It is a film with tear-jerking moments, one to make you think and crackin soundtrack. Below is the track Life is Beautiful by the Afters, it is the title track of the film with some footage of the film.

   
      We are keen to engage with an open adoption, meaning one where the child is fully aware of their situation as being adopted, knowing their birth mother, father if all parties are up for that. This might be considered an odd arrangement but how great for the child to know the one who was willing to give birth and life. We of course look forward to raising that child, to seeing the possibility and destiny within their life. As I've written in previous blogs if you are someone who prays then please continue to do so for us, if you are not then I welcome to remember us or even give prayer a try, we certainly value any and all support from our friends and readers.

17th September - Riga, Latvija and the Right to Life

Museum of the occupation

 When you are on holiday in a foreign country there are many expectations including, new cultural experiences, great regional cuisine, travelling problems, awkward yet funny instances of languge misunderstanding, seeing historical buildings just to name a few. What you don't expect is to have your emotions rocked. Maybe at a museum like the Latvian Occupation Museum which chronicles the period of 1939-1990 when the land and people were occupied by either Soviet or Nazi forces you would expect to have emotions stirred. We only made it through the exhibit up to 1941 in our hour there, at that point our emotions were already quite affected. A beautiful land that was added to the Soviet regime in 1939, lost 1,000's to deportation, was then occupied by Nazi Germany in 1940. Out of the 70,000 Jews who lived in Latvia only 1,000 made it till the end of WWII. By the time we got to 1941 when Russia took control again we were tired and ready to think about something lighter.

     We had gone on a tourist tram ride and seen some peculiar statues. We were very eager to get much closer to them and see what they commemorated, probably the number of children killed in the deportation or lost in the wars throughout the years. We strolled through Old Town on the way to the park which snakes along with the canal so that we could enjoy a boat ride through town and out on the Daugava River. The little monuments were those of babies but not ones whose parents had died in war or babies killed in occupation. They were 40 identical monuments of babies who were never born. A story was written beneath each one as told from a mother to the pregnancy crisis centre in Latvia. They were all stories of babies who were aborted for various reasons including unwanted pregnancy, to busy for a baby, not mature enough, too much abuse in the home, not the right time and a plethora of other excuses to abort. A chilling account of the guilt that mothers live with day in and day out.
     We were rocked, not expecting to encounter something like this in a foreign land, one where abortion had been accecpted and at times encouraged throughout the years. What struck me were the many aspects of why this was such an effective exhibit. Firstly when was the last time you heard/read about pro-life/anti-abortion that was tasteful, not in your face yet very poignant and culturally relevant? This was it. The demonstration took place on one of the busiest squares in the city as we read each account at least 20-30 people were milling around us no doubt being affected at some level. Think about it, if one pregnant lady is passing by contemplating abortion how much effect could this exhibit have on the her life and the one in her womb?
     Each little monument was exactly the same size, shape and colour. Each little life had been terminated and not given the opportunity to be endlessly varied from each other. One of the amazing aspects of our lives is the manifold differences that we each carry from one person to the next. Those little stones representing terminated lives were all repeats of each other, they never were really started in living out their lives. The Crisis Pregnancy Centre of Latvia protrayed this display so well, how great would it be to have this kind of statement in the town centre of Basingstoke or wherever you live? We were told recently by a doctor here in the UK that 1 in 3 pregnancies in the UK end up in termination of a baby. How hard is it to stomach that figure? If exhibits like this, adoptions of little ones and change of hearts/laws take place God willing that ratio will not be so bleak in the future. I trust that you are moved as we are looking at the pics from this exhibition, do also enjoy a few other shots from our great holiday to Lithuania and Latvia.

A picture frame in Cesis, a little town in Lavia

Our apartment 9 Palasta

The mighty Baltic Sea off the Curonian Spit in Lithuania

Us in Klaepida, Lithuania

Presidents of Latvia and Turkmenistan

September 13th - it's been a year

     Reflecting back on a whole year can be a tall task. It was just 365 days ago that the renewal of our thoughts and plans on adoption took place. In some respects much has happened over the year period but then from another angle much is still the same. Throughout the twelve months we have in chronological order; been on a holiday to Somerset, been informed that we'd have to move, planned our America trip, found a place to live in the village, gone to Indiana for a month, moved 2 1/2 weeks later, introduced Nooma our lilac Burmese kitten into our lives, had various houseguests, 3 large church/village events all affected by poor weather, enjoyed the Queen's Jubilee and Olympics here in England, been on a trip to Lithuania/Latvia and carried on with normal life and it's ups and downs. (whew long sentence) There has been plenty going on, for any of you who have moved house you know how strenuous plans can be. Acquiring the rental on a new place, transfer of funds, moving out of one house into another, coordination of the logistical side of things and what do you do with your stuff at the new one? It is much more than a couple week process.
     Clearly this year has been highlighted by our adoption process (hence the blog) and that too is logistical, financial and administrative tas which can be quite consuming. While consuming it is also so worth it much like excerise which is a commitment that is painful but healthy in the short and long run. Like stated before this year has brought with it much change but also much has stayed the same as well.

     Last September 13th we were without child or children and the same applies to this 13/9 as well. This is both difficult and the norm at the same time. We are used to life without having kids to consider in all decisions, without having the extra mouth to feed, but we are more than ready for that to change. As of this writing a year that position has not changed as we carry on waiting. What will this blog entry look like on September 13th 2013 who knows? We have been around long enough to know that nothing is certain, it simply is not wise to count one's chickens before they hatch. This is not say that all is doom and gloom, by no means! Death and taxes are all that are gauranteed according to the saying and in our lives we are attempting to keep the tension between our hopes/desires and the reality of our situation at the forefront of our prayers. I do look forward to the entry on  13/9/13, what will be written, thought and what pictures will adorn the page? For now let's simply write about 13/9/12.

August 21st - No title, just some thoughts

      Admittedly it has been a while since last blogging, for that I'm sorry. I have been doing much writing but not on the blog, drumming up content has not been easy. It seems like a broken record being played when the only news you have is not having news. Saying 'no we haven't heard anything' does get old and it gets deflating. But we have so many great friends here and there who are so careful not to ask us too often and they truly want to know the latest but not by putting us in difficult spots. For this I am so happy, would I like, no love, no be ecstatic to scream from the hilltops that we have news of course, but in the land between we are well cared for by those who love us. This phrase land between seems to make a bunch of sense right now for us, we're somewhere in the process of waiting, we've finished the practical on one end and have loads of practical on the other end. This is a bit like being in the middle of walking across a wood suspension bridge or an open highway near no gas stations with hardly any signs, you don't have any choice but to keep walking or driving.

      Is it a comfortable place, no in a word, but then again we don't call the shots. If moving to England and leaving what was so known to us has done anything it has taught us faith, faith at a different level. If joining the adoption process has taught us anything it's faith and at a higher level. The last entry was about Abraham, and it's not a shock that his story comes up constantly, whether it be a prayer meeting, conversation, magazine article you name it. His journey taught him and his family much but I'm sure that a greater level of faith was lesson number one. 

 If there is a concern that i have with the blog is that it will turn into a public place to moan, that's not the desire. Rather it is a blank page and forum for thoughts and for invitation for you our readers to join us in prayer. If you know us well you'll know what to pray, you don't have to tell us you are, just let them rise. If you happened across the blog then we welcome prayer for a reassurance of God's timing, His hand at work in the adoption process and faith to rise within us. Thank you all for your care and prayer.

July 19th - One out of 72

     What do you say to people or blog about when there is seemingly nothing new under the sun to blog about? Once again this past weekend we encountered a vast number of people, this time at the Sheepfair Festival here in Overton. When we run into many who know about our situation there is generally one question that comes up in conversation and it usually arises very quickly. Can you guess what it is? It is 'have you heard anything yet' and the response that we give of no we haven't usually puts a damper on the conversation. In life most things tend to move along at a quick pace whether it is seeking and finding a new job, or deciding to go back to uni and getting involved in the courses, or dating and realizing that he or she is your spouse to be. Of course life does not always move fast though, I know of plenty of people who have been out of work for an age and are still in that status. I've known some who would love to go back to university but can't based on either finance or their situation in life does not warrant that type of commitment. What about the person who seeks a spouse for years and years without this dream becoming reality. Facing a situation that you so desperately would like to see changed but knowing that there is next to nothing you can do to change it is not an easy task. In our case the reality is that we have done all a perspective parent can do, we've done the training, created our profile, been through the rigours of interviews and so on. As I've blogged about in the past we have chosen to adopt, but we cannot adopt a child until we are chosen.
     Does it get tiring answering the same set of questions? Sure it does. This past weekend Rebecca and I were once again reflecting on life, it is good to do that from time to time, and she discovered that this part of our journey is precisely for us as well.

      More than once we've compared ourselves to Abraham and Sarah in the Bible, we didn't leave our land to an unknown land rather one that we knew where we were going. What all we would face in that new land we were quite unclear about, but we did expect a level of safety that Abraham and Sarah probably most certainly did not have. One of the more important or well known facts of their lives was their hearing of God that Abraham would be a father to a nation, a father to the number of stars in the skies. Being childless meant that this prophecy was quite impossible, but alas the Lord had other plans in place. After a waiting period of some 24 years Abraham and Sarah did have a child, well past the time when she should have been able to give birth. Their faith was no doubt tested and grown through this extended waiting period, now we have not been waiting for nearly that long. In fact since being approved it has been about 4 months while they waited 288 months so we've put in 1/72 of the amount of time that they waited. I suppose in that perspective we have much faith to grow. It is true that the best things in life are usually worth waiting for.

July 3rd - The Newsroom and a stopwatch

     It has been a little while since last blogging about our adoption process and a few excuses could be made for this lack of updating on our journey. We could say because we are busy so it has been really hard to find time to write, or that our computer has been in the shop now for 16 days, but these while true are not the real reason. The other night we watched a brand new TV show called 'Newsroom' (Aaron Sorkin's new show, it is fabulous you must check it out) and one of the main points was delivering of the news in a bright accurate, interesting and attention grabbing manner.

I think that is quite possible when dealing with headliners such as an earthquake, hostage situation, important election, kidnapping etc... but it is that feasible when there does not seem to be any news to bring. It's a bit like Seinfeld the show about nothing that was ultimately about relationship, reality of daily life and connected with so many because it wasn't big story after big story. That is the way that our adoption process has been going, not really any news to report, rather it is the reality of everyday life whether involved in a church focused activity, cutting the hedges, making dinner, playing LOTR Risk or playing the guitar. So while we have this huge aspect of our lives bubbling away in the background there is life being lived in the foreground.

     In talking the other day I said it was like adoption was on our hearts but not on our minds. It's hard to gauge how true this actually is. Worry starts to creep in and the thoughts of 'is this for real' 'will we actually be chosen as parents' invade the mind and the resting place of waiting for His timing start to be eroded with our own stopwatch. It is accurate to say that adoption is in our hearts, we long for this to happen in our lives and for friends that we know who are going through the same type of processes to see their dreams realized through adoption. So going back to the news metaphor there really isn't any, doesn't make for the most excitng blog in the world does it? We continue to wait much like we had in previous months, although now maybe more seasoned and measured in our waiting. The old saying good things come to those who wait is accurate, and usually the waiting is an undisclosed amount of time.
     If you are told you'll have to wait for 20 minutes until the table is ready in the restaurant you simply put your name in and either carry on shopping or chatting waiting for the call. If you go up the hostess and she would say your wait would be  5 1/2 hours nary would there be many who stay at that establishment especially if there were others available. But what if that were the only option (I know not an accurate representation of much of the world around us) and there were no other ways to get a meal 5 1/2 hours wouldn't seem so crazy amount of time to wait. We have been told to wait until chosen, whether that is 20 minutes or 5 1/2 hours we don't know, but we do know that having a little life in our care is worth the wait. Much like the Newsroom when there is breaking news we'll be there for you, but until that point we'll carry on delivering the news of waiting and our thoughts/feelings about this amazing journey which we've embarked upon.

June 6th - Categories and Hoops

Our baby Burmese called Nooma

     There have been a number of topics bouncing around in my head lately including how best to deal with Nooma (our new beautiful lilac coloured Burmese kitten - pics to come at some point:) some lyrics for a song, the reality of us being chosen by Christ and also a statement that a speaker called Carl Wills shared with a group of people here in Basingstoke. (A bit theological here if that's ok) He was talking about the word accuser and specifically about accuser of the brethren which is found in Revelation 12:10. I've heard teaching about that verse before but I've not heard the view that the Greek work for accuser means to catergorize or one who catergorizes, big deal right? Think about it? How do you feel when you have been catergorized into something or you are catergorized as something. For many years Rebecca and I were known as 'Earl and Rebecca from Goshen' or 'Youth Leaders from Goshen', these were fine titles as they were true. Yet they did not tell the whole story, we were also Earl from New York, Rebecca born in Oklahoma, accounts payable clerk, EDI Coordinator, Kindergarten Teacher, EASE Faciliatator, and those jobs were just in a span of a couple of years. Of course there are many stories out there which are untold when we are only known as this or that, rather than knowing the whole story of who we are.
     When we are put into a category or when we put others into categories we miss out on something of who they are. Why has this been on my mind, what does this have to do with our adoption journey you might ask. Now we are known as three things, we are Earl and Rebecca leaders of West Church, Earl and Rebecca the Americans in the village and Earl and Rebecca who are adopting. Our 'titles' here don't fully encompass who we are, most people who have only known us here don't know that we've led ministry trips to various countries, that we started dating in Greece, previously had a cat named Cameron and of course numerous other aspects of our lives pre-England.You get used to these titles, as we have done over the last few years.
     The last one is the newest and probably the hardest one for us to reckon with because while we are adopting it has not happened yet. It is difficult to have this be what you are 'known for' and in reality it has not taken place yet. I think that we can handle these titles though, but there are other areas of the adoption journey where categorizing people has struck me as well. In the USA adoption is really an option, you can see it as the word option is embedded in adoption. There are many instances of adoption from newborns all the way to teenagers, from within the country and abroad. There are countless agencies both local, national, government, private, Christian, etc... it is not hard to find one, we are so pleased with the one that we are working with. If a child is adopted there does not seem to be much of a stigma attached, rather there is the reality they are now in a loving family (usually that is) having opportunties that most children are afforded. This seems to be different in the UK from the conversations we've had with people, there is drastically many fewer adoptions that take place. There is an alarming lack of adoption because the system is very cumbersome to work with, there are few private agencies and hoops that one has to jump through would make an adopting family tired from the paperwork alone. Friends of ours who have successfully adopted have waited for years, and another friend ran into more trouble with a straightforward adoption than we would ever dream.. Put another way, adoption is not as much of an option.
     Another group that gets categorized are the women who are giving birth and then 'giving up' their baby. I think that the bravery and generosity they show by going through with the birth, and the placing of their child into the arms of another is flatout remarkable. It is not deserving of being chucked into a category; these might be: often a teenager, unable to cope, bad decision making, unfit mother, on and on with titles that might be given to the young ladies. How about the category of life-giving, brave and loving rather than taking the route of abortion or even the route of attempting to raise the child without the resouces that are needed for the long haul. These women are often not praised for their actions, probably scorned and shamed to some extent but they are the ones who carry on with giving-life to their baby and offering unending possibility to these same little ones. We look forward to the day when our little baby is not categorized by anything but being a Robinson, I'm sure other categories could be found but that one sounds like it's perfect.

May 27th - Enjoy the view!

     If you've ever been on a journey/trip probably the most common question asked by a young child or even an adult for that matter is "How much longer?"  If we are going to a destination we have an idea of the length of the journey.  Sure, situations can change that; a flat tire, an accident, a snow storm but we do know how long in normal conditions we will need to wait until we reach our destination.

Recently we have been using a gps/sat nav a few times as we have gone places.  They are interestingly little machines that often have a mind of their own as we recently discovered whilst driving the wrong way down a one way street in the middle of a big city, but that's another story....  Moving swiftly on, the great thing about these clever little devices is that they tell you how long you will be on that road before moving to the next, how many miles left to travel, as well as approximately how many minutes until you hear the welcome words, "You have reached your destination."  The whole system is down to a science and unless an unexpected circumstance occurs the whole journey is quite prescribed.
The thing is though that life isn't always like that and the length of waiting isn't always known.  Can you imagine getting in a car to go somewhere and not knowing if you will arrive in 10 minutes or 24 hours or even a few weeks?  How do you prepare?  What do you wear?  Do you take your ipod or food for the journey?  It's nearly impossible to plan.
It seems this is the world that Earl and I have found ourselves in.  I've waited for many things over the years, waited for graduation day, for special trips to visit friends, for my wedding day, etc. etc.  All of these waiting periods had quite a bit of definition around them but this, this is so very, very different.  Recently someone came up to me that had been praying for me and shared something with me.  They felt God had told them to share with me that the road was difficult because I didn't know the length of the road that I was travelling on but that it was important that I enjoy the view!

I really love that perspective but how do you enjoy the view on a journey that could be extremely short or extremely long.  The answers are not obvious but I have come to a few conclusions.  First of all, I have had to rest in the fact that there is absolutely nothing I can do to make this process go faster.  We are approved and we wait to be chosen.  That's it, my job is to wait.  Also, I am enjoying the view.  Life is good and even though it will change drastically at some point I trust that God will show me how to cope with those changes.  But for now I am not focusing on what will be but what is.  I am enjoying life with my amazing husband of nearly 16 years, loving our new home that we share with our dear friend Lizzie who is a sister to both of us, leading West Basingstoke Community church that has some of the most caring, generous, and Godly people I know, and just taking each day as a new adventure.  Life here in England is far from boring and I don't want to miss it simply waiting to hear the words, "You have reached your destination."

The link below is 'Never Once' by Matt Redman, it is one that has spoken to us recently

May 17th - Phone conversations and more

 Rebecca's conversation between her and a delightful little 6 year old:

Child:  "So, when are you going to South Africa to get your baby?  It is South Africa right?"

Me: "Close, it's America."

Child:  "Ok, so when are you getting your baby?"

Me: "When they call us and tell us then we will get our baby.  We are just waiting for the phone to ring."

Child:  "So, when they call you, then you will have your baby?"

Me:  "Yes, but how old are you?"

Child:  "I'm 6!"

Me:  "Ok, well, it might happen when you are 6 or it might happen when you are 7, we just don't know."

Child:  "Ok, but I think it will happen when I am 6 because I will be 6 for a long time!"

Me:  " I hope it happens when you are 6 too, but I will tell you when it happens, we just have to wait for the phone to ring."

     I'll bet if you think about it you can remember times when you've been seated by the phone or had your mobile in your hand just waiting for that call. I can remember when I was going to get a phone call from an elementary school that I was hoping to work for and the expectation of the ring superceded almost everything else. I also remember back when I was 17 and excited about getting a first real job and expecting Pizza Hut to call to say whether or not I was going to be part of the team of making pizzas and pastas. Those are decent examples but in all reality the phone was going to ring soon enough with the answers to my employment questions on the other end of the line. For us presently we know that there is a phone call or email out there at some point which will most likely be very life-changing but the fact is we don't know when this important call may come.
     As you can imagine the question that we now face almost daily is 'do you know when you get a baby' and of course answering this almost daily can be a bit of a drain. With the adoption not happening until the timing is right we have no choice but to carry on living our daily lives. It's like this, when I get up in the morning I tend to think about eating breakfast, taking a shower, looking to see how the Rangers did in the previous nights ballgame, thinking through what I need to before going out, and checking email to see if there are any pressing issues. I don't immediatley run to the phone, sit down next to it and wait for a call from the agency in America. If that were all there was daily then that would drive us to craziness, but alas there is so much more in our lives than the adoption process which we have entered and have gotten well past the starting gate. There is the reality of leading the West Region of Basingstoke Community Churches, there are village relationships and activities, there is sharing our house/life with Lizzie, there is our wide range of relationships in America that we value, etc... so there is more to do daily than wait by the phone.

not my daily life but an example of a daily life

     What a blessing that while we wait in faith we are encountering many other opportunties to see God at work in our daily lives. Since our lives are about being and not just off doing this and doing that I think that we are able to keep this balance of waiting while going about daily living in a healthy balance.

May 3rd - The keyword is sacrifice

     There a number of words that come up often when helping lead a church, some of them are grace, salvation, love, the cross, sacrifice, freedom etc and the word that I want to hone in on for this blog enrtry is sacrifice. It has been on my mind much lately, I've had quite a few people mention that what we are doing with adoption is a sacrifice. I like to think that the whole of our lives are sacrifice, simply being willing to give away and lay down what we have. Sure there are sacrifices with something like adoption, time, money, emotion but surely that is all worth it, it is worth having on the block  or laying on the altar.
     So far in this journey we have had to 'sacrifice' some of our time including a month in the US, well that was a great time not exactly something where we felt a huge loss as you would when giving something up. There has been cost and there will be much more to come as the adoption goes through but what better way to spend the money that we have saved and planned for over the years? Ya we could go out and use money on an extravagant vacation, or buy a nicer car or various other purchases but why not use our finance on something as special as life. There has definetely been emotion sacrificed but again it has been worth it, to share in the joys of new relationships we've built through this process, to be able tell stories of how God has set up various aspects of our trip and organizing the whole process. We have had some downs as well as ups, but that is reality, it's not all peaches and cream as they say. So for us there is sacrifice but we are more than willing and ready to offer what we have in all the various ways written about before. I'd rather look at other sacrifices that take place through the adoption process.
     I cannot imagine what the feeling must be for a mother who has carried a life for up to 9 months and then after a couple of days this life is given to another family. An attachment that took around 3/4 of a year is physically severed and emotionally changed over the course of a couple of days after birth. This to me is huge sacrifice to be willing to carry this life, go through the trials of pregnancy, the pain of birth all with the plan of then 'sacrificing' this child in the way of giving he or she to another. What a bold statement, rather than taking the 'easy road' of abortion the mother fully gives life to the little one in the womb. We look with a steady gaze at the day when we adopt, when we hold the one given to us by both God and the brave lady who went through it all, not for her but for another. We look to that day, for now we wait until that lady makes contact with the agency and with us about the life that she would like to offer to us.

Have a listen to 'Worth it All' by Rita Springer

  

April 17th - Is no gnus good gnus?

     This is a question that I have been asking myself, maybe not these exact words but the bigger idea 'is no news good news?'
As far as our adoption process has been going there has not been much if any news in the last couple of weeks. Is that a welcomed break for us, or is that something that we should get frustrated about? There are many questions with this adventure and one of the biggest if not the biggest is around timing and frequency of information. It's not as if there has been nothing happening in our lives, we have come back to this fair land for 5 weeks now and in that space have moved out of and into a new house. That has been an undertaking and we can see that it has been the grace of God to not have a trip back to Indiana for adoption reasons during this ultra-busy time in our lives.
     We have had what could be a small piece of good news as we've found a charity that gives adoption grants to parents who are adopting newborns from the US. Many of the grants that are out there only service either international or older children adoption. The other way that they kick in is by matching what the parents/church raise individually. We have decided that doing personal fundraising is not the way forward for us in this process. It would be fantastic though to receive some grant money for this purpose, so the plan is to do the paperwork on our next day off and hopefully get it all submitted in time for the 30th April deadline. There is plenty to do with it, but to be honest not rivaling the amount in the applications and actual adoption prep paperwork, so we should be able to handle it.

   
      Back to the question of news and the frequency with which it arrives. In some respects it is easier to have space and not have new possibilities swirling about because if your hopes aren't raised they cannot be dashed either. With that being said though we have really enjoyed hearing about a couple of situations that we might be suited for, and it's in those times when hopes raise very quickly. If I had  nickel for the number of times I've thought 'if we were planning a trip to the USA now it would be so difficult' then I could probably buy a can of coke or something similar. We have been given grace for this time, this time of not having much news and not having to change our lives dramatically at this point. So I suppose that for now no gnus is good gnus, but when other news comes we'll be excited you can be sure.

April 4th - Settling in?

     Anytime that you move there is such an unsettling, it doesn't matter how much you look forward to it or dread it. The whole action of boxing up what you own, going through the stuff and taking bags to the charity shops or the tip (recycling place for you Americans) can be taxing. It takes time to figure out what to toss, what hasn't been used in a while, what is sentimental that needs special care or what is fragile which calls for some bubble wrap. Of course after all the boxes, furniture and other stuff have been moved then it all has to be gone through and placed in the new abode. This takes not only time, but also quite a bit of headspace and emotion. The excitement of an empty space, the picture hooks on the wall, and the oh so needed changeable lampshades all provide an opporutnity for creatively using our belongings to adorn the new house.

    Making a house a home is a task and it is one that simply takes time. The question that you get the most once you've moved in is 'have you settled in' I can't say that I totally know what that means. Does that mean having boxes unpacked, having all your picture hooks occupied or plans for unused space? Does it mean that over the course of a couple of weeks an area you had never called your own is all of a sudden 'home'? That time does come but not overnight, and we look forward to our new dwelling being a true home, it is getting there and yes we are settling in.
    So how much are we settling in with the adoption process? This is a question that we have wrestled with as there is a big difference between waiting with expectancy each day looking at the email, hoping that 'the email' has come which will drastically change our lives in a good way. Compared to waiting with expectancy knowing that at some point that special email or call will arrive and we'll deal with those implications at that time. I feel like we are settling into the latter of the two, probably a more measured waiting knowing that it could be a long time until our hopes are seen in the expanse of our family.

 Settling into some kind of routine of life has been really helpful to us since our return to the UK following our adoption process trip. It has allowed us to live 'normal' in a way (even though we've just moved house) and not simply eager for the next to hear good news.
     For us this waiting period is an important one, whether that be 1 month or 14 months or even longer, this time is truly in God's hands, we are the ones who are being asked to live it out.  For all of you reading this blog don't feel sorry for us as we wait, it is part of this adventure and we are settled in for the long haul, as a great band once sang nobody said it was easy.

March 26th - Movin on to the Northwest Side

the house we have moved into

     I don't know how many of you remember the sitcom called the Jefferson's that ran back in 1979 - 1984 ish (that shows my age) but i do at least from the re-runs that always seemed to on the television. The theme song to that show was 'Movin on up' and in the case of that family they moved on up to the east side to a deluxe apartment in the sky (sing along if you know it) and in our case it is movin on over to the northwest side to a much more modern  house in Glebe Meadow.
     That is our situation, as you may or may not have read earlier in the blog we found out that we had to move out of our lovely dwelling on Winchester St and at the time we did not have any options of where to go. In the eleventh hour the Lord provided a house for Rebecca, Lizzie and I to move into, and it is right here in the village. It is about an 8 minute walk to the Co-op rather than a thirty second walk, but we'll trade that for all the benefits of this house we now are moving into. To have this kind of house come available when it did was providence as we were really desiring to stay in Overton, to continue living together and not to have to downsize considerably because as you may or may not have read we are adopting. When there was nothing that was coming up for rental we were concerned but fear never really kicked in rather a peace that we would be taken care of.

     So after our trip to America we knew that the next big thing on our agenda of life was to move house, they say it is one of the more stressful activities that one can go through. I'd say that this move has gone quite seamlessly and much of that can be down to the amazing people that we have had around us during the actual move and the run-up to it. On Friday night Rebecca gathered her youth cell at our new house and while it only housed boxes at the time they were let loose to go throughout the house to pray, worship and listen to God and write down what they hear. These post-it-notes were found all over the place, on the doors, windows, the floor, each room had thoughts from God heard by the teenagers, they are ones who will spend time here. Then we came to Saturday, the big day from our perspective as it was the one when everyone was coming to lend their  brawn and elbow grease. The weather was gorgeous and an army of eager workers each of whom will here be named;  (in no particular order); Murray, Catherine, Amelia, Barbara, Alan, Malcolm, Phil, Simon, Jeff, Tiffany, Rhian,Wendy, David, Peter, Carol, Chris, Karen, David, Mark, Chris and Mike. They were an army each marching to the beat of  and without them we could not have accomplished the moving of all the furniture that we have accumulated over the years.
     14 is a big house and to clean it meant many people giving it their all, and this is exactly what happened. A move like this underscores the value of community, I personally don't know how people who aren't surrounded by a loving community of friends can do something like this without professional or hired help. We have always seen our friends as our family and in this case it was a great day of working, eating and being together all around one goal of helping to get us from there to here. It goes without saying probably but these same people who helped us this weekend are ones who will be around when we arrive back on this fair isle with a little addition to our family. When you need others help is when you realize how much life can't be lived on it's own. I think that the old saying that it takes a village to raise a child is so true, we look really forward when we have opportunity to put that into real practice.

Check out this interesting version of Movin on Up

March 16th - Approval... now what???

     We have always looked at our trip to Indiana as one of adventure, listening to this part of our call, a certain amount of unknown territory and of course excitement. One of the areas of unknown territoriness (word?) was can we get everything done in a 3 1/2 week period of time planned in the states? If we could not get it all in during that space of time, then what?, how could we finish the process of becoming approved to adopt? It's not like we can just hop on a plane and go back to Indy for one more meeting. Anyway that question is one that hung around our heads for quite sometime, especially in the run-up to the scheduled trip and whilst (for all you Brits:) in the USA. Most people take much more time to do the interviews, education meetings, paperwork, creation of the family profile, but most people are working alongside of those portions of the process whereas we were there for that reason firstly, then meeting up with people secondly. On reflection had we attempted to do a trip like that on our regular visit to Indiana it would have proven all but impossible, but being there with that singular focus afforded us the possibility of completeness. So without any further ado... we are officially approved to adopt!!!

     We have been waiting for this official document for a fortnight or so, and it did in fact arrive tonight in our inbox. It did not contain any new information, but that does not diminish the importance of the letter, or diminish the excitement of the finish line of this part of the process. The importance lies within the fact that without it we would not be able to adopt through our chosen agency. Without their being willing to adapt to our unique circumstances and continually work with us through our mountain of questions we would not have been able to get to this point. So exactly what is this point you might ask? Where do we in fact go from here?
 

 The short answer is wait, we have done what we need to do, we are now in a position of waiting until we are chosen. I have been struck more than once by the reality of the choice we have made to enter this amazing process and now we are at a point where we are the ones waiting. Maybe the most common question of the last couple of months is when, when will you know, when do you go back to the US, when this,when that. We have plenty of answers but not those. Being called to wait now, is a great position to be in and yet a difficult spot: As Lizzie says 'waiting is a dichotomy because you vacillate between fear that you are out of control and the freedom of having things out of control' So while we wait would you be praying for us, that God would give us His peace as we live within His timing.

March 3rd - Little Ones

not these little ones, rather the ones below

     There is an aspect of adoption that probably could get lost in the shuffle of all the paperwork, meetings, excitement, finance, travel etc... and that is the fact that a little one is now part of the equation. It sounds elementary I'm sure but you know that having a newborn, infant, toddler, school age or teenager around changes pretty much everything. For us we have had much experience in not having children around and we have also been overly blessed to have had so much interaction with kids of all ages. Whether that be Rebecca's nine years as a kindergarten teacher or Earl's time with the 2nd, 3rd and 6th graders along with all other grades as a sub. Or maybe it was our 8 years working with teenagers from our church, traveling here there and everywhere, along with loads of teens from other churches as well. It feels as though we have had much opportunity with kids all over the place, from so many families, schools, churches, and many of our friends have had kids as well. Probably the ages that we have not had as much time with is with the little little ones, we're talking the newborn-toddlers. That has all been changing though, and of course it will change big time in the future.

the Good household

     As we reflect back on our great trip to Indiana there are many things that stand out, the amazing Mexican food on various occasions, high school bball,  seeing so many friends, the generosity of people that we've seen in action, but maybe one of our favorite and most life-giving times have spent with little ones. Alot of our friends have children now and that has been part of our experience that we hang out with them and their children. On this trip there seemed to be kids everywhere and whether it was playing games, building blocks, shooting hoops, choo-choos, popsicle stands, jumping like a superhero, puzzles, and who knows what else it was a blast. There is such vibrancy in their speech, often a bit louder than expected, sometimes taking everyone by surprise. There are the huge smiles while playing or running around, there are the often short stories of what happened to cause the latest ouchie. Maybe a joke here or there that sometimes is funny but always makes you laugh. Meal times which usually are interesting for one reason or another, very rarely to do with the actual food. As our trip winds down we have to give a shout out to some of the little people who have made this trip so enjoyable and might we add preparatory in more ways than simply our adoption meetings and paperwork.

Earl and Sydney

     Real world experience is the best, and we had a taste thanks to (if we left one out we're sorry) Myles, Sydney, Joelle, Jaycie, Jarvina, Graysen, Bo, Asher, Klyvlnd, Kaylen, Judah, Elijah, Levi, and there were others around here and there that bring such a vibrancy to life. This is part of the adoption process which is so much fun, the kids, the joy they bring into everyone's lives. Of course we look forward to our own stories from our family, until that time we'll continue to enjoy those around us who bring so many smiles to our faces.

February 26th - Cake and Continents

     Sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same, not sure how that works but it does tend to in some way. The focus of this trip to Indiana has always been on the adoption process, so that has taken the first priority. With that being said we knew that there would be plenty of space for other aspects of life as well to fit around the time spent on the adoption prep meetings, interviews and trainings. Coming back to Indiana where we have spent 11 1/2 years of our married lives together means that we are able to see many people who we have relationship with, some for many years. At times on this trip it has meant doing what we used to do for fun i.e. high school basketball games, shopping at night, getting together to play games with friends; it has also been hanging out with old friends, and having it feel like time almost hasn't past, especially 3 1/2 years worth of time. It has meant going to our favorite places to eat out, mostly Mexican might I add which is not readily available in England, and being able to be at Family Worship Center each Sunday of our trip. What a blessing that has been, to be where we have been sent from and be able to have input there, great relationships there and meet with the Lord while gathering with the saints there.
     Reflecting on our time this past week there has been much adoption prep with our profile and online course that we have taken but also many of the aforementioned activities as well. We've asked ourselves many a time how many other people are so fortunate, no blessed to have not only an amazing set of friends and family in one location (in our case continent) and another grouping of friends and family in a far different location. That is our experience, so many close relationships throughout Northern Indiana and so many throughout the whole of England and especially the Basingstoke area. 
     As a result of this adoption being run through Indiana we get the opportunity at some point, when that point is we don't know, to come back here for another two month stretch while the adoption is being finalized. During that time we'll once again have many of the experiences that this trip has afforded us, that will be great to have that kind of space with friends and family here in the States. We will we miss our lives in England of course we will, but for us this is part of the journey that we are on, it is a bit like having our cake and eating it too. So for now we finish up our adoption process meetings in the near future and then wait to be approved as a potential adoptive family and go from there. All the while knowing that we have many walking with us whether that is from the east or west of the Atlantic, and that is a wonderful place to be.

February 21st - Creative Beginnings

       If the first couple weeks of our trip to Indiana was about traveling, meetings and interviews this third week was not about those aspects. In our last meeting with our specialist in Kouts we were informed about the family profile project that needs to be accomplished. We were under the assumption that this 'project' was a letter to expectant mothers, and while it used to be now it is much more robust than a letter. This means that it is like a scrapbook or for those of you that know Creative Memories, it is a book like that of us as prospective parents. That is a great idea to have one of these books, to be ultra-creative with the content, pictures, etc... A couple of factors that we had to take into account though, we found out that we need to have this profile done by the 1st of March, that's about a week and half, and we also need to have 10 copies of the book. So we're not talking one beautiful scrapbook with stickers, backgrounds and original pics, rather a reproducible booklet, not the easiest task in about a week's span. When we started to think about it we had about 3-4 days to do the whole thing if we were to get them printed in time.
      This meant that the last couple of days have been designing, looking for pics, creating, and to be honest it has been really fun. While we love to work together, doing that in this kind of context is not the easiest for us, but on this occasion it has gone quite swimmingly.  How will the booklet turn out, we'll have to wait to see the final product, we are very pleased with how it looks on the computer, thanks to facebook and the pics we have on the computer we have been able to do the whole project from the comfort of our home away from home here in Goshen. What a great week it has been to not be traveling here and there across the highways of Indiana.
     I wish that we had a dime for each time somebody has asked when we will get a child, unfortunately that is not an answer that we can offer. It's not one we can give now, and not one that we can give even after being approved. Speaking of being approved it looks as though the last of the requirements are going to be met quite soon and after a couple more meetings at the end of the month we should reach the approved status. That seems hard to believe considering that what we have done in a three-four week span is usually accomplished in 3-4 months instead. Once the approval is granted we are then on the list as ones who can adopt. I think it will be a huge change as we go about living our lives in England, we'll move house, do the regular activities of leading West, planning for this and that, all the while knowing that a phone call or email which will change our lives dramatically could come at any time. So the approval process is truly only the beginning, but without it there can't be another chapter written into the story, so that's what this trip is all about, beginnings, not always the most exciting stuff, but all needed and part of the bigger picture.

February 19th - The Robinson's and Relaxedness

     It is always exciting when Earl's parents are going to arrive, we don't get to see them all that often even when living in the States and now being England it is a once a year type of thing. This year a bit different with our trip here in February for all of this adoption process. As you would expect they are quite excited about the probabilities of being grand-parents and they showed up at our home away from home earlier than expected. This too is not unprecedented as one time they turned up at our house so early we were not out of bed yet, except for we were sleeping in the living room because it was so hot, and had forgotten to lock the door so my dad simply walked in and said get up what ya still sleeping for? This wasn't near as stark and once they came we hung out all night, chatted and watched a bit of television together. The Friday would be our first of two trips to Kouts to meet with our adoption specialist.

Cliff and Della along with Mandy Sue

     It was really great going back to Kouts after not being there for a few years, and meeting with our specialist brought an even clearer picture of the process into our minds. Working with the agency has been gold, they are wonderful people who really care for all the parties involved and we can feel that care from everyone of them. Our meeting went well and after 3 hours of digging into our lives we decided to descend upon the new Birky's Coffee Shop, it was their grand-opening so there was free coffee and other treats. We caught up with some friends (Jayson, Sandi, Jay and others) that we have not seen for a couple of years and enjoyed a nice lunch together. The meetings that we are having are really helpful, we can see why the home-study is so important, imagine if all parents had to go through that type of background check before having children, that would be interesting. Speaking of back-ground checks we found out that we have to do yet another one, this time for Elkhart County, we have not been in trouble with the law so it will be fine just the idea of yet one more check, the fingerprinting in two countries and now 4 separate checks on our background, luckily we're squeaky clean.
     Friday night came and we were off to one of our favorite pastimes in Indiana, high school basketball. On this occasion it was Goshen vs. Westview, and both the JV and Varsity games were close, we don't know any of the players but it was still great to be back in a gym on a Friday night, there will be plenty more of that to come on this trip no doubt. On the Saturday we decided to stay close to home and see what Goshen had to offer, and for a little city it has much to see and do. The Farmer's Market was open in the morning so meandering around there, getting a bit of tasty food to eat, some rich flavoured coffee, and the relaxedness (word?) of a Saturday morning without much happening was great. We knew there would be some relaxation with this trip but how much was an unknown, the times have been hit and miss but we don't feel overtaxed or over hurried which is encouraging. During the remainder of the time that they were with us we did a bit of shopping, played hand and foot along with Sequence. We were at Family Center on Sunday morning which Earl was really glad to get through leading worship as the cold he has had settled on Saturday and made his voice rough along with having plugged ears, that doesn't help when you're trying to sing.
     We both have said that if we were here attempting to do the adoption process while simply visiting or if we had another agenda that this would be too much. As you know though we are here for the adoption focus so it is OK, this next week we have a book to read, an online course to take and found out that we need to create a family profile, which is sort of like a scrapbook of us, that ought to be interesting as we don't have many materials to work with. We don't have other meetings at this point next week so there should be time in the diary for all of those things. This is a time that we feel we are being led by the Spirit, I as in Earl has been able to listen to a good amount of music while here and one of the songs that has really been speaking to me is the song Fall Afresh off of the Loft Sessions by Bethel, check it out here with this link, write again soon:)

February 16th - A Sweet Suite

     One of the aspects of this trip that we looked forward to was the traveling and one aspect that we did not look forward to was the traveling. As they say there you take the good and take the bad. Our second trip down to Indy was exactly a week after the first, we were more rested and probably better prepared for this particular trip. It was Valentine's Day a great day for a meeting hey, anyway we decided to get a hotel for the evening rather than drive back in the late night, what a great decision that was. We logged into the hotel at 3:15 in the afternoon, enjoyed the exercise room, hot tub and our room all before going back out for the meeting in the evening. Earlier that day we had stopped in at Bethany to drop off some paperwork for our file and we met the lead adoption specialist in the office. She surprisingly said 'we just got finished with a team meeting about you' that was not what we expected, then she invited us to sit down and we'd all go over some new information together. We had thought we'd just stop by to drop off some documents and instead we had a meeting on the spot which did prove helpful to us, a bit more understanding of how this whole process can work for us.
     The evening meeting was about attachment, that is a very important subject when dealing with adoption. When, how and to what extent does an adopted child attach to the parents are key questions and this particular seminar focused on this subject, it was helpful to us as we look to having a child attach to us in the future. After a good night's sleep we also decided to enjoy the amenities of the hotel on the next day as well, so a hot complimentary breakfast was first on the docket. We once again used the exercise machines and hot tub, television and eventually checked out at 11:59, I'd say we got our money's worth on that occasion. With all that is going on in our heads it is great to get an evening away, and with Earl's parents coming for the weekend having some alone time was quite valuable, as you can expect there is much to discuss together.

     One of the great aspects of this trip is that we are staying in a great house right in the Goshen, so it is really close to many of our friends. We're both quite relational people so having friends and others around is fabulous, after our arrival back 'home' Karisa stopped in for the rest of the day and evening, just us eating dinner, watching tv and hanging out. Having space to hang out like that is really food for our souls, and since moving from Goshen 3 1/2 years ago we have realized the deepness of relationship that exists here with so many people. Of course we really miss being back in Overton, seeing many familiar faces day in and day out, but for this month stretch at least the familiar faces are ones of Hoosiers, and quite soon Cliff and Della. On Thursday they arrive and Friday we are off to Kouts for the next part of the home study, this will be a meeting with our specialist about us, it will last for probably 3 hours or so, should be much fun.

February 15th - Settlers and Stories

     Coming back to where you have lived for a long time is always an interesting time, how do you see everyone yet also do what you need to do, and not get worn out through it all. Going shopping for food here in the US is not as easy as it used to be, we are still overwhelmed by the choice and availability of everything one might want. I suppose we have been living across the street from the Co-op shop in Overton for a couple of years but it is only the size of most produce areas in supermarkets here. Enough complaining though, we are having a great time in Goshen with our church family in this area. When leaving Family Worship Centre some 3 1/2 years ago we really felt sent out and that feeling has not changed for us, it is a very welcoming and comfortable place for us to be, even if that be only for a few weeks per year.

     The first weekend of being here has been great, we have caught up with many friends built up over the years of living here. Our good friends Jeremy and Ang had us over simply to hang out with them and their kids on Saturday, that is so cool to be able to join others in their lives. This was followed on Sunday by attending the church meeting where a familiar topic of discipleship was spoken on, always good to hear about how we are to walk and grow in Christ. After a fine lunch at Hacienda one of the staples of dining in Goshen a church wide games party was thrown and a large crowd came out for the event. For the strategy gamers there was Settlers, Ticket to Ride, Euchre and War for card gamers and party-like games upstairs for most of the gals.  It is such a blessing to spend time with our friends, here to see their children growing up, and be encouraged by their walks with Christ as they go through ups and downs like we are. There have been some adoption type things going on as well over this weekend.

     For those of you who have been through any kind of adoption process you'll appreciate that privacy and knowing when/what to say is a key feature of the story. That is our experience as well, there have been some background stories taking place that we don't feel we can be very open with, at least until the timing is right. One of these background stories took place in our first week here as we answered an email while in England about adopting a newborn through a private situation. Of course we were very excited about this possibility and began looking for either open or closed doors. We often talk about God being able to open any door and while that is true, He might be better at closing doors before we either walk into them or get into the next room without a way out. In this case the door was open for a short period of time and now it seems as though it has effectively closed. As you can expect this has not been easy for us, but it is all part of the story and adventure that God has us embarked upon.