February 21st - Creative Beginnings

       If the first couple weeks of our trip to Indiana was about traveling, meetings and interviews this third week was not about those aspects. In our last meeting with our specialist in Kouts we were informed about the family profile project that needs to be accomplished. We were under the assumption that this 'project' was a letter to expectant mothers, and while it used to be now it is much more robust than a letter. This means that it is like a scrapbook or for those of you that know Creative Memories, it is a book like that of us as prospective parents. That is a great idea to have one of these books, to be ultra-creative with the content, pictures, etc... A couple of factors that we had to take into account though, we found out that we need to have this profile done by the 1st of March, that's about a week and half, and we also need to have 10 copies of the book. So we're not talking one beautiful scrapbook with stickers, backgrounds and original pics, rather a reproducible booklet, not the easiest task in about a week's span. When we started to think about it we had about 3-4 days to do the whole thing if we were to get them printed in time.
      This meant that the last couple of days have been designing, looking for pics, creating, and to be honest it has been really fun. While we love to work together, doing that in this kind of context is not the easiest for us, but on this occasion it has gone quite swimmingly.  How will the booklet turn out, we'll have to wait to see the final product, we are very pleased with how it looks on the computer, thanks to facebook and the pics we have on the computer we have been able to do the whole project from the comfort of our home away from home here in Goshen. What a great week it has been to not be traveling here and there across the highways of Indiana.
     I wish that we had a dime for each time somebody has asked when we will get a child, unfortunately that is not an answer that we can offer. It's not one we can give now, and not one that we can give even after being approved. Speaking of being approved it looks as though the last of the requirements are going to be met quite soon and after a couple more meetings at the end of the month we should reach the approved status. That seems hard to believe considering that what we have done in a three-four week span is usually accomplished in 3-4 months instead. Once the approval is granted we are then on the list as ones who can adopt. I think it will be a huge change as we go about living our lives in England, we'll move house, do the regular activities of leading West, planning for this and that, all the while knowing that a phone call or email which will change our lives dramatically could come at any time. So the approval process is truly only the beginning, but without it there can't be another chapter written into the story, so that's what this trip is all about, beginnings, not always the most exciting stuff, but all needed and part of the bigger picture.

February 19th - The Robinson's and Relaxedness

     It is always exciting when Earl's parents are going to arrive, we don't get to see them all that often even when living in the States and now being England it is a once a year type of thing. This year a bit different with our trip here in February for all of this adoption process. As you would expect they are quite excited about the probabilities of being grand-parents and they showed up at our home away from home earlier than expected. This too is not unprecedented as one time they turned up at our house so early we were not out of bed yet, except for we were sleeping in the living room because it was so hot, and had forgotten to lock the door so my dad simply walked in and said get up what ya still sleeping for? This wasn't near as stark and once they came we hung out all night, chatted and watched a bit of television together. The Friday would be our first of two trips to Kouts to meet with our adoption specialist.

Cliff and Della along with Mandy Sue

     It was really great going back to Kouts after not being there for a few years, and meeting with our specialist brought an even clearer picture of the process into our minds. Working with the agency has been gold, they are wonderful people who really care for all the parties involved and we can feel that care from everyone of them. Our meeting went well and after 3 hours of digging into our lives we decided to descend upon the new Birky's Coffee Shop, it was their grand-opening so there was free coffee and other treats. We caught up with some friends (Jayson, Sandi, Jay and others) that we have not seen for a couple of years and enjoyed a nice lunch together. The meetings that we are having are really helpful, we can see why the home-study is so important, imagine if all parents had to go through that type of background check before having children, that would be interesting. Speaking of back-ground checks we found out that we have to do yet another one, this time for Elkhart County, we have not been in trouble with the law so it will be fine just the idea of yet one more check, the fingerprinting in two countries and now 4 separate checks on our background, luckily we're squeaky clean.
     Friday night came and we were off to one of our favorite pastimes in Indiana, high school basketball. On this occasion it was Goshen vs. Westview, and both the JV and Varsity games were close, we don't know any of the players but it was still great to be back in a gym on a Friday night, there will be plenty more of that to come on this trip no doubt. On the Saturday we decided to stay close to home and see what Goshen had to offer, and for a little city it has much to see and do. The Farmer's Market was open in the morning so meandering around there, getting a bit of tasty food to eat, some rich flavoured coffee, and the relaxedness (word?) of a Saturday morning without much happening was great. We knew there would be some relaxation with this trip but how much was an unknown, the times have been hit and miss but we don't feel overtaxed or over hurried which is encouraging. During the remainder of the time that they were with us we did a bit of shopping, played hand and foot along with Sequence. We were at Family Center on Sunday morning which Earl was really glad to get through leading worship as the cold he has had settled on Saturday and made his voice rough along with having plugged ears, that doesn't help when you're trying to sing.
     We both have said that if we were here attempting to do the adoption process while simply visiting or if we had another agenda that this would be too much. As you know though we are here for the adoption focus so it is OK, this next week we have a book to read, an online course to take and found out that we need to create a family profile, which is sort of like a scrapbook of us, that ought to be interesting as we don't have many materials to work with. We don't have other meetings at this point next week so there should be time in the diary for all of those things. This is a time that we feel we are being led by the Spirit, I as in Earl has been able to listen to a good amount of music while here and one of the songs that has really been speaking to me is the song Fall Afresh off of the Loft Sessions by Bethel, check it out here with this link, write again soon:)

February 16th - A Sweet Suite

     One of the aspects of this trip that we looked forward to was the traveling and one aspect that we did not look forward to was the traveling. As they say there you take the good and take the bad. Our second trip down to Indy was exactly a week after the first, we were more rested and probably better prepared for this particular trip. It was Valentine's Day a great day for a meeting hey, anyway we decided to get a hotel for the evening rather than drive back in the late night, what a great decision that was. We logged into the hotel at 3:15 in the afternoon, enjoyed the exercise room, hot tub and our room all before going back out for the meeting in the evening. Earlier that day we had stopped in at Bethany to drop off some paperwork for our file and we met the lead adoption specialist in the office. She surprisingly said 'we just got finished with a team meeting about you' that was not what we expected, then she invited us to sit down and we'd all go over some new information together. We had thought we'd just stop by to drop off some documents and instead we had a meeting on the spot which did prove helpful to us, a bit more understanding of how this whole process can work for us.
     The evening meeting was about attachment, that is a very important subject when dealing with adoption. When, how and to what extent does an adopted child attach to the parents are key questions and this particular seminar focused on this subject, it was helpful to us as we look to having a child attach to us in the future. After a good night's sleep we also decided to enjoy the amenities of the hotel on the next day as well, so a hot complimentary breakfast was first on the docket. We once again used the exercise machines and hot tub, television and eventually checked out at 11:59, I'd say we got our money's worth on that occasion. With all that is going on in our heads it is great to get an evening away, and with Earl's parents coming for the weekend having some alone time was quite valuable, as you can expect there is much to discuss together.

     One of the great aspects of this trip is that we are staying in a great house right in the Goshen, so it is really close to many of our friends. We're both quite relational people so having friends and others around is fabulous, after our arrival back 'home' Karisa stopped in for the rest of the day and evening, just us eating dinner, watching tv and hanging out. Having space to hang out like that is really food for our souls, and since moving from Goshen 3 1/2 years ago we have realized the deepness of relationship that exists here with so many people. Of course we really miss being back in Overton, seeing many familiar faces day in and day out, but for this month stretch at least the familiar faces are ones of Hoosiers, and quite soon Cliff and Della. On Thursday they arrive and Friday we are off to Kouts for the next part of the home study, this will be a meeting with our specialist about us, it will last for probably 3 hours or so, should be much fun.

February 15th - Settlers and Stories

     Coming back to where you have lived for a long time is always an interesting time, how do you see everyone yet also do what you need to do, and not get worn out through it all. Going shopping for food here in the US is not as easy as it used to be, we are still overwhelmed by the choice and availability of everything one might want. I suppose we have been living across the street from the Co-op shop in Overton for a couple of years but it is only the size of most produce areas in supermarkets here. Enough complaining though, we are having a great time in Goshen with our church family in this area. When leaving Family Worship Centre some 3 1/2 years ago we really felt sent out and that feeling has not changed for us, it is a very welcoming and comfortable place for us to be, even if that be only for a few weeks per year.

     The first weekend of being here has been great, we have caught up with many friends built up over the years of living here. Our good friends Jeremy and Ang had us over simply to hang out with them and their kids on Saturday, that is so cool to be able to join others in their lives. This was followed on Sunday by attending the church meeting where a familiar topic of discipleship was spoken on, always good to hear about how we are to walk and grow in Christ. After a fine lunch at Hacienda one of the staples of dining in Goshen a church wide games party was thrown and a large crowd came out for the event. For the strategy gamers there was Settlers, Ticket to Ride, Euchre and War for card gamers and party-like games upstairs for most of the gals.  It is such a blessing to spend time with our friends, here to see their children growing up, and be encouraged by their walks with Christ as they go through ups and downs like we are. There have been some adoption type things going on as well over this weekend.

     For those of you who have been through any kind of adoption process you'll appreciate that privacy and knowing when/what to say is a key feature of the story. That is our experience as well, there have been some background stories taking place that we don't feel we can be very open with, at least until the timing is right. One of these background stories took place in our first week here as we answered an email while in England about adopting a newborn through a private situation. Of course we were very excited about this possibility and began looking for either open or closed doors. We often talk about God being able to open any door and while that is true, He might be better at closing doors before we either walk into them or get into the next room without a way out. In this case the door was open for a short period of time and now it seems as though it has effectively closed. As you can expect this has not been easy for us, but it is all part of the story and adventure that God has us embarked upon.

February 13th - Up and Down All Around

About the only sure thing we know about this trip is that we are here for at least a month, what happens within that month is what we are unsure about. So far this calendar year has been full of ups and downs, I'm sure that is normal for many people but the swings we've had felt quite drastic. As you may have read in earlier posts we were asked to move by our landlord because he is going to sell the property, and the original date for moving out was while were here in America. It's hard enough moving house, try doing it when you're not in the country. Anyway we did in fact get that changed to where we can move at the end of March instead which gives us a little under three weeks once we're back, but we have a place to go to. When you're in the middle of indecision it is easy to worry and worst-case scenario, but that is when God is at his best in the eleventh hour. We handed in the papers on the new rented house on the Saturday before leaving for the US, so not much extra time, a couple of days to be exact.

While there has been uncertainty on the housing front in Overton there is of course uncertainty and the potential for the canyon of worry to have to be crossed while walking through our training and interviews here as well. Wednesday was a day where we relaxed a bit in the morning, then did a couple of errands, hung out with Karisa at IHOP (they have some great breakfast food, the kind of chow we don't usually get in the UK) and heard all about her latest travels. Eventually after Rebecca had gone back to her old school West Side where she taught we ended up at Meijer, now this may not sound interesting especially to those of you in Michiana but for us who are used to shopping at Lidl or the Co-op, Meijer is like another world. Take your largest Tesco and then add another half of one on to that and you have the Meijer we go to. It has everything to say the least, and choice is what hits us in the face the first few times we darken it's doors. For example we were in the cereal aisle and Rebecca said just grab one of them that's on sale, sounds easiest enough so which of the 85 varieties that have a sale price do I choose, at Lidl I simply pick up the only Fruit and Fibre choice and put it in the trolley. Enough about our shopping, we did get out unscathed and back to our home away from home for a while.
We were quite nervous because coming on Thursday morning was the first part of our home-study, ironic in that we don't have a home to study here. It is more of a study of us, are we cut out to be adoptive parents, what are our strengths, weaknesses, stories of life etc... In short we of course loved this as it was great to share with our adoption specialist over the dining room table about life. It was not intimidating rather very relaxed and interesting as we shared and listened to her stories and thoughts. We found out that there are three of these sessions so as the first three hours drew to a close we started to look forward to the next meeting this time in Kouts not here in our little house in Goshen.

February 11th - two days out of thirty

Courthouse in Goshen

      We have hit the ground running, after a mostly uneventful airline journey. The plane was not totally full so we each had a couple of seats to relax in, that was an unexpected blessing. We were then picked up right on time by our friend Angie who then drove us back to Goshen and dropped us off at our residence for the month. It is really a place of peace, we have much physical room in the house and the opportunity for head space/relaxation really easily. That is an aspect of this kind of trip that probably could be underestimated but with so much happening it is great to have a place to crash that's all ours. There was some food in the pantry, Angie had some already prepared food for us, there's fast Internet and even a treadmill so we can exercise indoors as it's cold outside. That was Monday taken care of and then it was down to Indy on Tuesday after having our fingerprints done again, I guess bio-metrics in the US and UK is not enough, we're still not criminals and don't plan on turning that kind of life any time soon or anytime at all for that matter.
     The drive to Indy was one that took us by surprise, we are used to rolling hills of Southern England, the busy roads, old beautiful buildings etc... on this group of roads it was farmland to the right and left, a little town once a half-hour, gray skies, brown ground for the 2 1/2 hours until just outside of Indy. It was easy driving so we'll take that but can't say too much for the scenery or lack thereof on this particular drive.
We found our destination without any trouble at all, highways here are so wide, for the most part empty and easy to navigate. With a little time to burn, where else but a coffee shop, in this instance a Starbucks they're not too hard to come across, simply open your eyes when in a large city. The meeting we attended was a panel meeting where we heard from a couple who has attended, their stories of sadness, excitement, bad news and joy all rolled into one package of adoption. This was somewhat informative but then there was a panel of three mothers who had given birth and placed their children with adoptive families. This was very moving, the bravery they showed was immense, they remarked as too how difficult it is to give up your child, but that in every case they knew what was best for the baby. These mothers were inspirational and we walked away from that meeting with some new questions but also much excitement ourselves.
     One area of this process that we find difficult is not letting our excitement level grow too high too quickly, this is a road to walk down not a road that we drive a racing car down. Finding that balance is some of what this trip is about, and in the next couple of days we'll face some new questions and conversations which are all part of this journey. It seems like much has happened on our trip already, that was only the first couple of days more to come in later blog entries, so check back in on after the weekend.

February 5th - Snow melted and bags packed

      So it hasn't snowed even a flake all winter until yesterday, let's just say that we were happy it wasn't tonight. Had that been the case we would have been sweating bullets. There is a quite important flight for us to catch tomorrow morning, Tony is coming at 5:30am to pick us up and take the hourish drive to Heathrow for the first traveling leg of this journey. I say traveling leg because the journey has been going now in earnest since September, it has been adventure for sure. We've been building up to this trip to America for a while now, there are meetings on Tuesday the day after we land, then another important one on Thursday. So today as the temps rose we were quite relieved and then we saw on the Delta website that flights were all on time and Heathrow was doing what it should which is have planes take off and land. Tomorrow at this time we'll be in Goshen staying the night at our home away from home, it not only is an ocean away it feels like a whole world away.

     During this process we did not expect to move house, but that has also been part of this equation. We were told that we had to move out of our amazing 500 year old house right in the centre of the village because the house is going to be sold. That is fair enough as we knew the day would come, the timing though has presented some challenges as you might expect. We have looked at one house throughout the last couple of months and yesterday we were able to give the estate agent our paperwork and deposit. In reality it has been the only option in the village where we can continue to live with Lizzie and have the space we need for our family to increase.
That's the amazing thing, we could not have stayed where we are presently and this new place will be perfect for a family with a fenced in back garden and all. As was written 'the best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray' in this case the plans of us men (not gender specific:) have gone astray but the plans that God has had for us is much better than ours.

     Our bags are packed now, it only took an hour, I guess that comes from the experience of knowing what 23 kilos or 50 pounds feels like, and from knowing what we need in America. We also realize that when going to Indiana we always come back with more than we left with so leaving space is a good idea. A concern one has with packing is what did you forget, in this case it's the double check again do we have that form, or is the passport in that pocket of the bag as though it grew legs and hopped back into the desk drawer since looking 10 minutes earlier. I suppose that's nerves, probably quite normal for this kind of trip. There is much unknown in this journey which could lead to fear and in all reality probably will. My friend Merv and I were talking tonight after the worship gathering we had been at and he asked if we had fear on this journey. I said yes but we discovered that we know to take that fear, the arms of the Lord who can take that fear and turn it on itself and into faith. To wrap this up before we get ready to hit the sack, tomorrow we face new challenges, fear will probably try to sneak in, but we know Who is rudder of this ship, the One whose plans don't oft or ever go astray.