2nd September - A Little Window (Normal Life)

     To some normalcy might be boring, to others it is just what the doctor orders each day. One thing I've said to many people and we've said to ourselves was that we'll be finding a new normal, but we don't know what that will be. For those of you that really like lists, order and procedures then I predict you'll totally enjoy this entry. For those of you who are more abstract thinking, random and couldn't care less about the details of daily life than I'm afraid you might be bored, but I'll leave that up to you.
     Yesterday marked the fortnight anniversary of the girls being with us since the handover. In some respects it feels like time has flown by, but then we look and see it's only been 14 days. Family goes on, being a family is not just a getaway which ends or even a school year which seems long but is over by July. This is life, it's not a segue or a long-term babysitting job for a friend, this is life. This is our family, each day up and at 'em by around 6:30ish (hopefully not earlier than that:) and then hanging out a bit with either a short video, books, numerous stuffed toys then onto eating breakfast, getting dressed, maybe going out, certainly playing some more and then before you know it it's lunch time. Hard to believe that 6:30-12:00 can go so quickly, but the clock doesn't lie.

   Nap time, it's a win-win for all parties involved. The girls need it, we need it, not that I always take a nap but from time-to-time I do snooze at that point. It gives us a chance to take care of some phone calls, put out washing, tidy up the kitchen, eat our own lunch and most importantly recharge. That might be in the form of surfing the net, playing a game together, and simply hanging out. It does seem as though the clock lies during this time though, it does seem to fly by and before we know the girls have emerged from their afternoon slumber. Usually full of gusto, not always but often ready to tackle the world. This is the best time for our youngest to work on walking around the house and to work on wearing her glasses, as you can imagine being 17 months she is not a big fan of having something placed on her little face that she is not supposed to touch.

     We've settled into quite a consistent routine, I assume this is because we both understand the value of routine and having ways of doing things. I'm not convinced we'll be able to keep to these as stringent as we presently are but during this special time of bonding it is fabulous to have these procedures built into our lives. So after waking up there is often a snack, generally a trip to a local park, feed the ducks, drop into the shops, play some more whether that be indoors or outdoors. Somewhere in there Auntie Lizzie gets home from work and joins in the fun of whatever is going on at the time. Once 5:00 rolls around everyone starts getting antsy for dinner, requests for snacks, juice etc... heighten and table/food preparation kicks into full gear so that by 5:30 we're all seated at the table for a family meal together. This is an important aspect of our daily lives and even in the hustle and bustle of life we hope to keep this paramount in our house.

     Once dinner is over it's our family time watching a video on the big screen, for a couple of weeks it's been Paw Patrol, I'm sure that will change soon to some other hotshot cartoon but for now we enjoy an episode together. From there it's clean-up time, that might be the living room, front room or bedroom or all of the above. It depends on where, when and how many toys/books were dragged out from their respective box, basket or shelf. This time flies by and after getting upstairs the bubbly bath is already drawn and ready to jumped into. It must be a real treasure to relax in the bath right before each night, talk about winding down. After getting on night clothes on it's time for a story or two followed by a Bible story and praying together. From there goodnight kisses are given and both girls are safely tucked into their nest. What follows is a couple hours of adult time and solitude until 6:30 am the next morning rolls around.

     Our lives are not like they have been for the last umpteen years but as I told a friend this week I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm sure by the time some of you read this post our routines and timings will have changed but that's OK, people change, little ones grow up, they grow out of shoes and clothes and even start eating green stuff eventually. We're up for it all and look forward to many days together in the future, but we're definitely making memories and
savouring the moments of today. 

26th August - A few of my favourite things

It has been nearly a week since we've all been home, simply being home with no deadlines, meetings, places we have to be or things we need to do. While Julie Andrews has a few of her own favourite things, she's not the only one who's created a list.
Have a perusal of ours, this is just from a few days together as a family sorry it's not quite as sing songy as the original...

feeling the quiet breath in my ear as I carry our youngest downstairs first thing in the morning after she has woken up bright and cheerful

hearing 'woof woof'  in a slightly sinister voice when we see a dog whether it's the Butler Bulldog on my shirt or a picture in a book

reading books, so many books, two book baskets already with another on the way

the big smile after giving affirmation for a job well done

utter determination, seen again today in the striding across the room for the first time (6:15pm on the 25th August not that we were keeping record)

hearing 'daddy' and the pitter patter of feet coming my way

If there is a clasp or anything to clip, it will be clasped or clipped no matter how long the struggle may continue for, only the high chair has not been defeated

unexpected bliss of two napping girls in the middle of the day 

no fear in meeting animals whether that be Nooma day in and day out, or our visit with Oscar and Sushi

midday jaunts to the Co-op, it's only a three minute but fun to get out for at least a bit

realising that we said the other night 'the kids are upstairs sleeping' it's a small statement with huge significance

the interesting contents of our 'tea' created in the wendy house

becoming a big fan of Paw Patrol, my personal favourite is Zuma

bathtime followed by storytime followed by bedtime followed by our collective ahhhhh

I'm sure there will plenty of other things to add to our list but for now this will do. We are so thankful to the Lord each and every day for our girls and living together as a family. 

19th-20th August - The 'handover' is complete!

19th - Completeness is an accomplishment, we've all done it. You've no doubt had a daunting project, a looming deadline or a seemingly unclimbable mountain to ascend. That's a bit of what the adoption journey has felt like for with the last couple of weeks being the penultimate push to the summit. There is one more action to take to reach the pinnacle (a court celebration where they become Robinson's legally) but that is down the road a few months. For now we'll enjoy this view. This evening it is one from our home, while Rebecca and I sit downstairs on our computers for the first time in our house our girls sleep peacefully upstairs.

x2 in our case:)

That is weird to say as we've never said it before, never before have we been downstairs while precious ones sleep upstairs. The introductions have gone well and the last step of the introductions is the handover. This is essentially when the foster carers say goodbye, we all bundle in the car and drive home for good. That all happened this morning, today was not easy as you can imagine. There is much emotion tied up within everyone involved. There has been some crying, wimpering and general frustration. Is this unexpected? Not at all. This is not just a slight change, this is life change, change for good and for the good. The girls (we are withholding names and pics until court celebration) have had an amazing experience at their carers house and we have learned many valuable lessons from them over the last couple of weeks. It's now up to us, whether that be day to day actions like feeding, changing, bathing or long-term things like healthcare and going to school.

20th - Folgers coffee used to have the tagline 'the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup', I don't agree with that. As much as I might enjoy a cup of joe, the best of waking up today was not coffee in my cup but two little ones coming into our room. The youngest one who was crying when she awoke was brought in by Rebecca and then a minute later the older  crawled into our bed as well. What a way to wake up! This after a great night of rest, that's right they both slept all night in their new beds and new home on the first night ever sleeping here. I know I've said it before but it's the little things that are the most entertaining, whether it be sharing breakfast together, reading books or seeing the excitement on their little faces when we do something fun.

Because so much of what we have around here is new to them it is great finding creative activities and unread books which quickly become favourites in our library. We already have two book baskets going, we're both ex elementary teachers what can we say:) Today was also our first trip out, all the way to the park which is about a 1 minute walk as the crow flies just up the road from our house. We've wondered what will the new normal look and feel like, we're not sure and believe me we aren't there yet, and probably won't be for quite sometime. There is way too much new and exciting to find a definite pattern to each day, every one full of unique adventures and discoveries.

15th-16th August - Home again for the first time

fri. am - Home is where we dwell, it's a place of comfort, it's a place of known. How often do you walk into a building attempting to grasp where is a toilet, or what floor is the office on? In a shopping mall or amusement park it might even take a map to figure it all out, where the exits are and the shops you are most interested in finding.

At home that's not true, it's known, you don't have to familiarise yourself with the surroundings. Today we drive back home, except on this occasion it will be different. There will be a room that is a new colour, it will have newly hung blinds, pics on the wall, two little beds ready for little girls.

For us going back home is a welcome occasion, we've had an amazing time in introductions, getting to see and understand routines, trips to appointments, to the shops, and out for fun to the park and even an aquarium. For Rebecca and I the drive home will be a time to reflect upon this week and certainly to look forward to the coming days, months and years. It dawned on me again yesterday while driving that we weren't babysitting for friends of ours, sure that's fun to do but this is so totally different.

looking at the glass above the doors of the girls room, thanks Aunty Lizzie :)

fri. pm - Excitement to say the least hit us as we got closer to home, that final stretch seemed longer than normal somehow. Not only were we glad to get back to see Lizzie, Nooma, to unpack, catch our breath and we were also going to see the girls's bedroom. We had great reason to believe that it would be amazing, with Lizzie's, Louise's and Carol's talents all on display. Walking in the room was an experience to remember, seeing the decal of 1 Samuel 1:27 above the room, the multi-coloured painted hot air balloons and fluffy white clouds on the wall, along with bespoke fairy lights and bedding. It's a real dream-room for the girls to call their own and begin life here with us.

sat am. - Today has been all about last minute preparation. Whether it be putting a couple things in the loft, finding a home for this toy or that stuffed animal, putting up stair gates and safety locks on drawers. The home has been a hive of activity, all for two little lovely ladies. They are too are excited to be coming 'home' (they don't know it as home yet)

Imagine if you were going to a new home, one that was not known. If this was your third home this year, if you did not know the comforts where you presently live. For children in care they often are coming from difficult home situations where it doesn't feel like home, home is not where the heart is. In fact it is usually quite the opposite, it is a place of struggle, with bad or scary memories and associations. Home may not be seen as a place of comfort, fun and security, now imagine if you were coming into another new home.

sat pm. - Today they came home for the first time (cue tears), seeing their smiling faces when they recoginsed a toy or book was priceless. Hearing the excitement when they found a new toy or book. Again hearing and seeing the excitement as we all trailed upstairs to their room, their beds, their stuffed toys, their room in their home. They don't sleep here for a couple more nights, but soon enough a new home will be a new normal. Can't wait to see what the next couple of days has in store for us all, there will be no doubt be much more new whether that be the garden, park, nap time or bath time, Are we all blessed or what!

9th-12th August - If 3's company then 4's a crowd - More reflections from our introductions

There is more than a subtle difference between going to the park and avoiding the park. It's simple, but now we go the park, we play on the swings, ride down the slide, and generally run about. Another place that is off limits without kids are soft play areas, again they are now destinations not reasons for a detour. What fun the soft play area was, little tikes from wall to wall, no place to plop down with our stuff, myriads of noises from toys and kids alike. After a bit we caught our collective breaths and found a couple of spots at a table. Whether it was the ball pool, crawling gym, toddler toys, riding toys it was all a blast.

When it was time to pause for a drink the girls were just a bit shattered, they and we had played hard for over an hour, it was time for a break. It's weird to think that these places like the park and soft play area are ones that we'll seek out from now on, after many years of actively not finding out where they were.

Today it was another kid friendly space the farm. There were all sorts there; pigs, cows, rabbits and a huge play area. We enjoyed it all while dodging rain drops and attempting to navigate two push chairs, some of the time carrying one but you get the idea. To give a bit of perspective to our time of introductions they have been building slowly. From just a morning together for example up to today when we were there all day including the bed time routine. As you can imagine there is much to learn and a quick learning curve, but all is well, we are figuring out how to be four. 

Life is fun with 4, getting into two car seats, two buggies for a walk, two meals for them and food for us, it's all just a bit complicated. Yesterday we were in and out of the car repeatedly here and there then to and from appointments. It wasn't a day full of 'fun' stuff, but it was a day full of life. One memory that will stick in our minds was when we got in the car and our oldest one exclaimed 'follow that Spongebob daddy' that meant to follow the car ahead which had Spongebob sun shades on the back windows. Now whenever we get in the car that's what we do!

If you've followed along our journey at all you'll know that we have eagerly awaited these days, those first opportunities to build family and memories. That's what this week is all about, building trust, understanding, and memories with each other. 

7th -8th August - Starting Introductions

What would we feel today, what would we experience today? These were questions rolling around our minds as we went to an introduction meeting and then an hour later to meet the girls. This was a day that we've been looking forward to for nearly three years now, to say we lapped it up would be an understatement. How do you begin to explain what's it like walking into a house and there are two little girls eager to meet you, actually they are our daughters and we're mommy and daddy. (Still has to go through court hearing before totally official)

The first words we heard today as we eagerly opened the door were just that; mommy and daddy. I can't say that we expected that, maybe after a couple of days or a couple of hours but not the first words that we'd hear. I've attempted to reflect on those moments and take pictures in my mind so that they are not lost, ever. They are the type of moments that Kodak calls for, or the kind that Instagram or Snapchat tend to catch, but on this occasion it wasn't to be disrupted by the camera or mobile it was for our eyes and ears only. After all this time to be seated in the foster carers front room, interacting with the girls, playing with one while the other toddled around, or holding one while the other did a puzzle, it didn't matter what we did. Actually the younger one fell asleep on my lap, that was bliss just relaxing there together.

At some point we'll capture some pics and video, but for now we're relishing in the experience and taking mental pictures. We have literally just met them today for the first time and already see interesting traits, personality likenesses and have made memories from just an hour and half together. As I said to someone yesterday now that we have reached this point it is actually the beginning, and that means more memories that you can count on their way!

Well more memories were created today, as we walked through the door there they both were one with cheeky grin and the younger one waving and saying hiya. They understood who we were and that we had come to be with them, to play, interact and simply be. We were there for three hours, to be honest it felt like hardly more than a half-hour, it went so quickly. There was a bit of crying here and there, lots of laughter, a bit of reading, painting and playing peekaboo. It felt normal, that was one of our concerns and prayers, that we could be at the foster carers house and it would just be normal.

Often in life we are not looking for normal, it's either a let-down, or maybe even a failure if it's just 'normal'. Many times we think we need the optional extras, or as McDonalds made famous not just a meal but make a Supersize meal. Something without the bells and whistles might be looked down on, but for us right now its great to have it a regular feeling Thursday and Friday. We'll see what the rest of the weekend has in store, probably a visit to a soft play area, along with more time at the home. Then next week more adventures and memories will no doubt be made.

6th August - Tomorrow is just another day you'll never forget

Tomorrow is just another day you'll never forget was a tagline used by Apple when introducing iTunes or some other techy gadget (Actually turned out to be the Beatles available on iTunes). For us it is a strapline we could use for the 7th of August 2014, one of those days that will quickly rise to the top of important dates in our lives. We all have them, the dates that you don't forget, the ones you don't have to look up (or least not all that often), the vital ones that carry buckets of significance.

In Biblical times these days and events are the kind that were remembered by either feasting or building a stone altar. Either way they were set apart, they were celebrated and they were marked, there are still little groupings of stones which stand today built thousands of years ago. There are many examples from present day too, D-Day, the day that Kennedy was assassinated (Nov 22, 1963) 9/11, it doesn't really need more explanation than that. There are also dates that we all whether they be birthdays or wedding anniversaries to name two that immediately spring to mind. Yep the 3rd August 1996 in the Old Goshen Theatre is forever etched in our minds, in fact we just celebrated our 18th by going away for an evening. There are gala times for the 20th Jan and 14th April each year. For us there are a couple more which would probably make that list too.

The 22nd July of 2008 was one of those days, we had officially packed all our belongings in the US and headed off across the ocean to a little village in the south of England to help lead a small rural church. We did not know all that day held, but we knew that it was the beginning of a brand new chapter if not a whole new book altogether. Then along came the 17th Jan of 2010 when we 'took on'

the leadership of West Basingstoke Community Church, what a day surrounded by friends from all over the country and the overwhelming support of the local church. At that point we didn't know what it would feel like to plot the way forward, to have the buck stop here and to be the voice of the people. I'll never forget the feeling on the Monday morning walking down the stairs realising what had happened the previous day, a new authority and responsibility that can't really be explained.

The 15th of September 2011 is another one, not as exciting or life-changing as the others but important nonetheless. That is the day that we made the phone call looking into adoption, we were able to connect with an agency in America who we eventually worked through for over two years. We also were able to speak with the Embassy in this country to find out that we could use an American agency even though we were living here, what amazing news that was. Could we have predicted that close to three years later the culmination of many forms, meetings, trips here and there, emails, phone calls and prayer times would be taking place?

That is tomorrow, it is the pinnacle of the last three years, we set eyes on the girls tomorrow, we spend time with them tomorrow, we personally enter their lives tomorrow. Has it been a long road? You bet, has it been excruciating at times? Absolutely. Would we have rather been another couple who saw their dreams come true without much if any heartache? Maybe but we have a bit of understanding of walking through pain and difficult times, the kind that many other people do as well. We look at the scores of people we have walked with, the numerous ones we've been able to encourage and the times where many have been called to pray on our behalf and we've seen faith enacted before our very eyes. So the 7th of August 2014 is just another day that's true, but it's one that we'll never forget. 

29th July - The Now and Not Yet - A YES from Matching Panel

The above phrase was one that took a place in the lore of our Bible college year as numerous visiting speakers used this phrase when talking about the Bible. I had never heard of the 'now and not yet' until 7 years ago sitting in the Vale Room in Oxford. Essentially it is a way of looking at how the Bible explains the growth of the Kingdom of God throughout time. It is growing here on earth presently which is the now, but also recognising that there is much which has not happened yet, it will in time but not yet. While it is a great statement for the Kingdom of God it could take meaning for a wider variety of aspects of life too.

While driving back from our matching panel meeting this afternoon Rebecca and I were searching for the metaphor or phrase we'd use to describe today. That familiar one 'the now and not yet' sprang to mind. There is much we are processing daily, whether that be acquiring something for the girls bedroom, maybe it's car seats or some children's books. It feels like daily something is added to the temporary holding point of the front room where gifts and purchases are being stashed. Seemingly daily there are emails or some kind of communication with our agency or with a local authority pertaining to dates and details. There are the more than daily conversations we have together. There are updates to friends who we bump into in the village or seeing people at some type of church gathering. All of this is now, it is present, it is exciting and at times quite exhausting. It feels like we are preparing on speed, after only figuring out what we really needed less than a fortnight ago from today.

The meeting today was also 'now', it was another milestone on the journey that we have now passed. The matching panel gives their approval to perspective adopters after reading their information and the children's information along with an interview type meeting. Today we sat in front of a group of 12 people some on the panel and also some social workers. Unlike some interviews we had a list of the questions which we were going to be asked, being able to work through our possible answers ahead of time was really helpful. The whole morning went exactly as planned, there were no curve balls, there was nothing which surprised or frustrated us. Much like the last time we went to panel we felt the prayers of so many others with us in both the waiting room and the board room. We have now travelled past the matching panel on we go into the 'not yet'

There is no doubt that we are relishing the 'now', it's a special time of preparing. By no means do we want to just look to the next stage or the next important meeting but I have to admit we do. We all do, it's in the  'Not yet' is where life gets very interesting. Isn't it exhilarating to ponder what's next, where might I be in two years, five years, what about in retirement? While it is so important to live in the present it's also human nature to think about the 'not yet'.

The final question today was along the lines of what are hopes for the future of the girls? It was a special question, it wasn't only about how might we handle a situation, or what kind of support system do we have around us. It was a query with emotion attached, it was one that brought tears to both of our eyes as we answered. A question like that really deserves an extended time to think about before attempting to formulate an answer.

It's the kind of question that you discuss when lying outdoors at night staring at the stars or gazing at the cloud formations rolling by on a summer's day. I suppose it's a recipe of blue-sky thinking mixed in with expectations, a bit of planning, a whole lot of flexibility and more than a dash of prayer. I know enough about children that there aren't blueprints drawn up as to how they will develop and grow into who they are. There are not formulas which can simply be plugged in and then your child/children will be what you planned or expected. I think that the excitement will be in watching them figure that out, seeing them be creative, trying new things, sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing but growing into who they are through it all. That's the hope, that they will grow into who they are meant to be.

24th July - Showers of Blessing

     We turned up in the UK 6 years ago yesterday, to say we are blessed would be an understatement. It is amazing when you look around our home here in Overton, you can count on your fingers the household items that we actually bought. The amount of man hours that have been accumulated in helping us move house 3 times, in helping with DIY projects is quite staggering too. We have been on the other end of generous monetary gifts as well throughout our time whether it has been to help with travel expenses, everyday expenses or to take a special holiday. They say that April is a month of showers and while true, I think that July showers are quite awesome (American word for ya'll) too.

     Allow me to explain, last night I went out to my friends to play Dominion while Rebecca had a special evening, the kind that whole photo albums are dedicated toward. Some friends from our church spearheaded by Jo put on a baby shower for her, it was held at the hall where we gather for our church meetings. How many times has she gone out the door for someone else's baby shower, I'm not sure but it's been quite a few. It was very exhilirating seeing the excitement on her face as she came down the stairs in her beautiful dress ready to go to her baby shower!

     There was a large group of women who came along to join in the festivities, I was told that they played some fun games, enjoyed food together and watched as Rebecca unraveled the gifts from paper and gift bags. Last week we were blessed to be given some practical gifts from friends in the village, then we bought a buggy, have been looking at beds and other practicals. The shower gifts weren't practical they were toys; musical, bath, cooking, dress up, a paddling pool, art easel, DVDs, CDs, books, the kind of stuff that is downright fun to open up and play with ourselves. We have had basically no toys in this house till now, soon there will be misplaced duplo blocks, little doll dresses, a favourite book and the like, a bit searching for lost items sounds like fun to me.

     The prep is going swimmingly as we carry on getting the bedroom and front room ready. This past week we were blessed with a gift from the church and in the card it mentioned a 'wendy house'. I was not familiar with the term, for those of you that aren't it is a playhouse, not so much a little plastic one but a proper wooden building like a small shed. We researched a bit, with the help of Lizzie found a great spot in the garden and actually bought it on Monday on the spot. By Tuesday there was already a group of guys from the church who have agreed to collect it, even the ground and build the wendy house. We have so enjoyed the showering of the giving, care and joy of so many friends around us, yup the showers of July are a real blessing.

The Great Adventure

Strolling through our village the other day for some reason I was reminded an art print we had once that was signed by famous Christian music artist Steven Curtis Chapman. It was a vividly coloured desert like scene with a horse that was front legs up just raring to race towards the distant mountains. What that horse was headed for was 'The Great Adventure' as the album and picture were called. Our lives have never been labeled 'The Great Adventure' but we certainly have had some along the way. We now enter into the final stages of our adoption process, probably feeling a bit like the horse who was so ready to be released into the wild, able to gallop and run freely in the open air.

The day that we received the news of being officially linked with two little girls for adoption we were in a prayer meeting with a bunch of other church leaders. Sometimes when people pray for each other they see a picture/object that relates to the person who they are praying for at the time. This happened to us as one of the ladies who prayed for us said that she saw a hot air balloon which had been flying around, being blown here and there by the wind. That balloon was now going to come to rest on the ground and at that point we could exit the balloon. Once safely on the ground we could then get on with the next part of life, her picture spoke of farming (we're not buying a farm or even planting anything for that matter) and we would see fruit in our lives. Again much like the horse itching to go, so we too are ready for this next part of the journey. This meant so much to us as we certainly had felt blown around by this process, then more a clear descending toward the ground and now about ready for touchdown and the safety of the ground. 

This week we have opportuntiy to meet a number of people who have been in the girls lives, it is called a life appreciation day. We certainly appreciate it, a chance to ask questions, hear stories, gather information, and hopefully see some more pictures. There are a myriad of questions we have, many are practical as we are attempting to prepare a bedroom, and setup another area of the house that will be a real child zone. What do they already have? What all do we need to buy? We really look forward to meeting these significant people, and to having some of questions answered. 

As you can imagine we are totally stoked, this is our first trip to the local authority where the girls are presently and we'll be making another one later this month for the matching panel meeting. We also have another jaunt in August which is planned as well. The meetings, emails, phone conversations they are all part of the great adventure, one that we have been so blessed embark upon over the last few years. If you have the time enjoy a listen to a blast from the past with 'The Great Adventure' by Steven Curtis Chapman.